~April 19, 2009 - 10:23 AM Y
*~* "It's twilight," Edward noted. "It's the safest time for us. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way... the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" *~*
*~* "I like the night," Bella replied.
"Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." *~*
Recently, for almost the whole week already, I have been having the same dream over and over again.
I keep dreaming of this cute and handsome guy, he gave me the feeling of being loved again and it felt so real.
How can I even dream of something that felt so real yet I don't even know who is that person.
So near.. Yet so far..
This dream keeps making my head spin.
It arouse the feeling, my feeling, of being loved and loving someone back.
However in reality, the fact is that I feel that I can no longer love anyone, for I don't even love myself.
The fact that I have become a cold blooded person.
Devoid of emotion, being very impassive.
Though this is the fact that is happening, I still believed that someday my true love will come.
Also yesterday one of my friend let me read this 'story' of love.
They used wallets to describe relationships.
Also I myself find it very true and meaningful.
Letting Go
My old Hum II professor used to tell us that wallets are a lot like girls, “You really have to take good care of, because if you won’t, something might happen”…
I know what he means. I just lost a wallet, and I just lost a girl. You know, it’s the exact same thing.
One day, you just realize it’s gone. You try to look for it everywhere, even going back to the places where you could have lost it.
You think, and you think hard, only to come upon a grim realization: it’s really gone.
Of course, you can hold on to some hope. After all, there have been some very, very lucky (blessed?) people who get it back.
Perhaps you could become one of those people. You sit home and you hope that someone would call, and that you would get it back.
But then, some time passes, and you realize that it’s still gone, and you realize that it’s time to let go.
The first few days, you turn to your friends for support.
Some tell you you’ll be fine, some tell you that it was your fault and that you should have been more careful, and some tell you about their own experiences.
They give you all sorts of advice, none you haven’t heard before.
You then go out to find a new wallet, only to realize that you don’t really want a new one.
You want the old one that you lost.
No, you don’t want all these better-looking wallets, you want yours, because of how comfortable it is, because of all the cards and pictures and other stuff in it.
You go out and carry on without a wallet, keeping your money in your pocket instead. You throw away stuff that you would have held on to if you had your old wallet. And then, finally, you find a new wallet you like and settle in.
You then start filling your new wallet, little by little. It still doesn't feel as comfortable as the old one, but it’s getting there.
Then you start putting in cards and pictures and other important stuff in the wallet. Soon enough, there’s as much stuff in your new wallet as the old one. And then, after some time, you feel as comfortable with your new wallet.
And then you realize that you've almost forgotten you ever had your old wallet. Sure, you still remember most of the stuff you lost on that wallet. But then again, you don’t remember the feeling of hurt that you felt when you lost it.
That’s because that wallet you lost is no longer your wallet. You’re no longer holding on. This new wallet you’re holding, it has all the important cards and pictures and stuff that you need. This is your wallet.
And this time, you tell yourself, you’re never losing this one.
The End
*~*There are things in life that are inevitable. Though it's tough and avoiding always seems the only solution. The real truth is facing it will make it better.*~*
