Today is band SYF 2009, I wasn't nervous at all because this is my third time attending SYF.


I didn't have lesson today and I felt that the time passed really quickly when I am not attending lessons.


I still couldn't play accent on certain notes but I tried my best.


At the end of performance, quite a number of people asked what do I think we will get and my first answer was bronze.


It's not that I'm trying to bring them down by not thinking of silver but from the way they played - the number of mistakes and going out of tune, I think chances of getting silver is already almost impossible.


Also, I think they ask me that question maybe is because this is my third time attending SYF.


The results was out and we really get a bronze, I didn't guess wrongly.


Anyway after SYF I went out with Ming Chuan.


I went to Bugis first to get my 'missing' colour pencil but the shop owner said that that colour pencil set was really out of stock and he couldn't change a new one for me until a new box come.


After that we walked to Suntec and I bought FBT shorts because I am going to play basketball at Bryan's house and it will be quite a number of times - for the sake of slimming down and growing tall.


After that went window shopping, I suddenly thought of I didn't have my lunch and I wanted to have my dinner.


We went down to B1 where all the food is and suddenly there is this old lady who called out to Ming Chuan for help.


He was curious and so kind hearted he went to help.


The old lady said something like "Escort me to the taxi stand, I'm not coming here tomorrow"


Ming Chuan was curious and he was too kind hearted that he didn't dare to let go of the lady and still asked her "why?" but she didn't reply him.


The old lady grabbed his arm tightly.


She walked really slow and I thought of walking in front is a little weird because I couldn't see where are they going and so I stopped and walked behind them.


Strange thing is, the taxi stand is at the first floor, up the stairs and escalator.


I knew something was not right.


After walking for like quite a distance, a man tapped my shoulder and told me "hey, please don't go near this old lady. She is crazy, she comes here everyday and asks people to escort her to taxi stand but actually she will just keep walking round and round the basement."


I replied "but my friend is like a victim now! What should I do?!" and he said "grab your friend and run" then he walked away.


The distance between me and Ming Chuan was quite far already and I think telling him that the lady is crazy to his face is dangerous because I don't know what the old lady will do to him or me so I called him.


I told him that the old lady is crazy and tell him to just leave her there and he said something like "but I couldn't just leave her" and I asked "Is she grabbing you really tight?" and he said "Ya."


I stood there, stunned, thinking of ways to 'rescue' him out of the awkward situation.


After awhile, from far, I saw him telling the old lady something and he was somewhat pissed.


I saw the old lady stopped walking immediately after he made her let go of him.


I could tell that he wasn't happy and I asked him how he get rid of the old lady and he said something like "I realised that she will be walking round and round without stopping so I just tell her that I have something important to do and I have to go. Then I just walk away."


He was really pissed and I told him that no point of him being angry with her because she is mentally ill and she might not know what is she doing - including she doesn't even know she offended people.


I didn't know what to say to him and how to comfort him because I was lost for words and he walked really fast.


Slowly, I was influenced and affected by his mood - I too was moody already at that point.


After that we went to City Hall MRT and took a stop back to Bugis.


Then had dinner, this time he was too fast and I didn't have the chance to pay my own food.


After that I saw this really cute mouse pad and I really want it so I decided to buy it, though it's a little too expensive.


-Picture of the mouse pad will be in next post.


He was too fast and he paid for it again.


I tried to pay him back but he kept pushing it away then I tried to put it in his bag but he reacted really quickly and he 'protected' his bag.


After that when we are at the escalator, I struggle to give him the $12 and he accidentally caught it.


Then he tried to give it back to me but failed because when I was at my block downstairs I ran into the lift.


However, he caught up and went in with me.


He grabbed my hand and tried to put it in my hand but I ran out of the lift and said "bye bye" then walk away.


I know he don't dare to escort me all the way until outside my door.


Anyway, today can say is a unlucky day because I nearly lost my wallet.


That's about it.


-I am so lost in my own thoughts. I no longer clearly know what is right and wrong. I couldn't sort out my feelings. Recently I have been feeling really down and all I could feel was the feeling of crying out loud. Why did this happen..? This problem started since 25/12/08....

I forgotten to blog about yesterday's trip.


I went to watch Race To Witch Mountain and it was not bad but still not as good.


After that went to eat Hagen Daz and I took picture of the ice cream I ate, as usual pictures will be in the next post.


Today was a very boring day, worse part is so many people around me is falling sick.


As for me, I had headache from yesterday until now and it still hurts.


Anyway, I laughed a lot during band today.


Though I am still disappointed in myself for not playing the piece 'Overture No.1' perfectly but I will not give up.


Tomorrow is the SYF day already, wish me luck.

This is a message to you, someone who no longer cares, someone who doesn't cherish me, someone so not worth yet.. *sigh* I know you will not see this message because you never read my blog after we broke up. Even if you did, you will not do a thing, neither pity me, apologise sincerely nor sincerely really want to be my friend. It's been 3 months since and I still couldn't forget you. I know I meant nothing to you but you always meant something to me. I choose not to be your friend anymore because I couldn't stand the way you treat me. I don't want us just to be virtual friends and when I see you every Saturday, it's like I never existed. Why did this even happen? Before we were together and only friends, you played, joked and always very interested to talk to me. After broke up, I seemed like a tiny grain of sand under your sole. Not even worth to look at. I really want to be your friend but I don't think you want to be mine. You are the one who initiated, wanting to be my friend even after breaking up. Currently, it just seemed that you don't even care if I'm your friend or not. I asked if can I remove you from msn and all you could say was "remove lor". Though you will not feel a thing, to me, it's millions of knife stabbing in and out, piercing through my heart. You have no idea what kind of suffering I am going through because you never really loved someone deeply and get hurt badly before. You said you love me more than any of your ex, is it really true? Your previous serious relationship lasted for almost a year and you still say you love me more than her. If it's that so, why you give up so easily. I cannot understand why people like you actually existed. No, I cannot understand why people like me existed.


I think you made me realise that I am actually so not worth existing in this world, always having people wanting me to just disappear forever. It just made me realised that I am very unwanted. Not wanted by you nor classmates..


只在乎成经拥有，不在乎天长地久。我不在乎天长地久也不在乎成经拥有，但我就是无法忘记你。我并不讨厌你，我讨厌我自己。不，我很恨自己。无知的自己，还得我自己痛苦死了。你让我觉得我根本不属于这个世界，我的存在只让人觉得我是一个负担。没有了我世界多美啊！


Maybe I should just disappear..

Today, I oversleep and was late for band.


Band starts at 8am and I woke up at 9am, reached there before 10am.


I cried really badly yesterday, from before band till after reaching home.


Which is like for a few hours of non-stop crying, until I got a serious headache.


Anyway, today my eyes were swollen and puffy.


I couldn't open my eyes wide and for the whole day I keep feeling like I want to cry.


I didn't go out today, I stayed at home and practice my drum.


I practice until I nearly cry because remembering Naz's words "I expected you to play something out of the ordinary. You should have been able to play this 1 month ago and I should have locked you up in the storeroom like now but I keep giving you chance. I though you can do it but you just disappoints me.."


I improved a little but still not as good as how people expect me to play.


I will work hard and prove that I can do it.


I will need to hurry on my art too, even Lenise is almost done with all her sketches.


I am so stressed up recently and I got all tensed up like almost every second that's passing by.


Also, every minute I feel like crying.


Why is my life so different from people, I am so messed up.


Such a lousy person with sucky attitude and character.


*sigh*


What will the world become if I never existed?


I believe it will be a better place for people around me to live in.


Oh right, it will not even change because I am already invisible..

These are the pictures of the Biology food test experiments me and Shi Ting did yesterday.

Look at yourself, there is only one word to describe you - pathetic. You can't even play a piece of music properly, how stupid can you get. So useless and imperfect! No wonder people always left you out, leaving you behind. There is just nothing special about you that makes people want or volunteer to even be your friend. You are such an average person that everyone sees on the street. No, you are worse. You can't even make people around you feel your existence. You are so transparent to them, all of them. Even if one day you disappear all of a sudden from school, people will not question about it.


So what if you are top, number one, in class?! It doesn't make you look smart at all, because the results that you got aren't good at all. Why can't you do better?! Why can't you impress people more with what you can do?!


CRYSTAL YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FOR NOTHING!


CRYSTAL YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!

Today, the first half of the day was very ordinary, boring as usual.


I even nearly fall asleep during class.


Only Biology class was fun because we did food test.


I will post the food test pictures tomorrow..


Anyway what disturbed me was during band.


After having 'the talk' from Nazri, I feel very guilty for dragging the whole band down.


He said things like he gave me such important role in Overture No.1 is because he expect me to play very well.


He also said "I really thought you can play well but it seemed to me that you are not practicing enough. I really feel very disappointed in you."


Truth is that piece is too hard for me and I need more time which I am running out of, SYF is next Tuesday and I am still not ready.


Words that he said kept ringing in my head, I suddenly got all tensed up and I started to get worried.


When it was band combine I was playing Dancing In Air, I didn't have any worries because that piece is a little easier.


When it was time for Overture No.1, I panicked and I broke down.


I started crying and couldn't stop.


I am so stressed out already, I have homework that never seemed to decrease even after completing it.


I still need a lot of time to do my art, it already eat away some of my sleeping time that is why I do not have enough sleep every night.


How would I even have the time to bring home my score, drum pad and drum stick to practice.


Why is everyone expecting so much from me?


Does everyone wants me to not sleep every night then they are satisfied?


I really can't take this anymore.

I forgotten about a quite important part about yesterday.


While I was walking home, I saw this beautiful sunset from my house.


It was beautiful, it was twilight.


I hope that scene could last but I know it's impossible so I took a picture of it.

These are the recent pictures I drew and completed.

Today is another ordinary day.


Did nothing much, though I slept at 11:30pm yesterday but I still feel tired in the morning.


I was nearly late for school today because bus 63 came late.


I continued a little of my art and pictures will be posted in the next post.


It is so hot today that even when it rains, the wind felt warm and not cooling at all.


I had fun during art lesson today because I kept singing, joking and playing to keep my mind alert before I fall asleep.


I know 1 thing for sure now, I need to go on a diet.


I gained 5kg!


OMG!


Time for diet, I have to stop eating so much already.


I will try not to eat in school during recess already.


Anyway, I will complete my story 'Vampire Rose - Chapter 7' by today and then do my art.


I have to complete 30 sketches by Monday but problem is I don't really have the time and I have less than 20 sketches.


Drawing so many pictures within a few days time is impossible.


Plus, I have band and dance tomorrow.


I hope I can finish it on time..


-Trying as hard as I can to be more tolerant.

I am always feeling tired recently.


Anyway I didn't do much yesterday, did homework and watched television.


That's all I did the whole day and I still slept at 2am.


I got to learn how to sleep early!


Today in school was as usual, always feeling left out and unwanted.


I nearly fall asleep between maths and English lesson.


Then after school went to BBT with Xue Qi, Jerolyn and Staphanie.


Xue Qi so chek ak!


She took my photo then don't wanna delete until Jerolyn help me delete it off.


I also not pretty nor cute, I so ugly!


Face full of pimples and facial features also not very standout, take my photo will only spoil your phone.


Also I bought this month's Teenage Magazine, Shi Ting asked me to buy it for some..


*Ahem*


reasons..


Anyway, I am going to chiong art.


I said that yesterday during class but I didn't do it.


This time I am keeping my word.


Well, I'm off to do my art.


-Not only tired physically but mentally and emotionally too. So sick of always being left out..

Sometimes in life you just don't get what you want. People pushing all the blame on you, acusing you and critisizing. Treating you differently, like you are invisible. All you could do was to tolerate, keeping it quiet. Storing all the problems only to yourself. You could never make things go your way or perhaps the right way.


When things go wrong and people acuses you, all you could thought of is reasons to make it really your fault. You will keep telling yourself that you regret this and that. Then you will sure that that matter really concerns deeply with you and you are fully responsible for it. After that, you just pretended that as though nothing happened.


Always making and thinking of jokes just to make people laugh but not yourself. Even when you do, it wasn't happiness from your heart. You had forgotten what you really love, like and enjoy. That is why you can no longer find that real happiness in yourself. Happiness is that thing you wanted the most. However it just seemed that the gap between you and happiness is getting bigger and bigger. Even though you know clearly that there are a few people out there supporting you but the people that you see almost everyday brings you down. As usual, you burry your emotions and smiled. Always keeping quiet.


-Silent Is Golden..


This is how I feel..


And it's happening..

Went out today, watched movie at Grand Cathay.


I watched Coming Soon with Ming Chuan.


Before that I went to have my lunch with him at Ajisan.


He paid the bill again and I pushed a $16 in his hand and he keep doing tricks to try to give it back to me.


The movie was not that bad, after that we went to bugis to buy a new watch.


I didn't like it because I am not suitable to wear a black watch.


Anyway I had fun today.


I don't know why recently I won't write in details I will just write straight forward.


Anyway, I had something I want to say but I don't think I have found the right person to tell.


So for the time being it's just going to be kept secret in my heart.


-Currently waiting for Twilight SAGA guidebook to be imported to Singapore and Trying to manage time.

Today, as usual.


I went out during afternoon with Ming Chuan.


I went to parkway to get my Twilight DVD then went for KFC.


After that went for dance and then went for steamboat and BBQ dinner with my mother.


After that prepared my things and by the time it was 1am already and I decided to watch Twilight with my mother.


I told her that the movie she won't know what was happening and indeed, I was right.


I had to explain to her in details which I read from the book.


Anyway, in between I did a very stupid thing and the only solution to solve it and make it to it's original form is to wait for 8 months.


Argh!


Me and my stupid thoughts.


Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to find professional help and make it at least a little better.


It's late, 3am.


Not in the mood to write in details and still I couldn't find the inspiration to do my art or continue the story.


I will try my best though..

Yesterday I didn't watch any vampires movies or shows but I had a vampire dream.


I dreamt about my own future at the beginning.


I finished Laselle fashion designing course and I went to USA for further studies.


I have a guardian there, her name is Lynne.


After reaching there, I made a lot of friends.


They organised this welcoming ball party and everyone is supposed to dress in big fluffy gowns that drags on the floor.


The place was beautiful, filled with many crystal objects like vases, lights, sculptures, candle stand, anything logical that can me made or decorated with crystals.


Anyway, I saw this really cute guy and he asked me for a dance.


After that I think I had a love in first sight, I wasn't sure what was going on.


Then this guy pulled me to the balcony located at the second floor of the hall.


He pulled me close to him and bit my neck, that instant I really could feel the pain.


It was like as though thousands of needles poked right through my flesh.


Worse part was I was conscious the whole time, so for that moment I thought I was about to die.


He didn't suck my blood, he just bit me.


My whole body felt week and numb but I am still conscious.


He then sat down, placed me on his lap and whispered into my ears.


"You will be the perfect girlfriend for me."


I wanted to go against it, I don't want to have a boyfriend!


However, after looking at him, his cuteness, I got trance and all I could do was stare into his eyes.


I couldn't believe one thing is I had always wished I have a vampire boyfriend but I don't want it to be this way.


Biting me without my permission is unacceptable!


Since he is so cute I don't mind living with him for eternity.


Haha!


Anyway, at that time I think I was in a spell or something and it's like instantly I fell in love with him right after he bit me.


I quickly hugged him tightly and he gave me a kiss on my lips.


"shhh, rest my dear. Go to sleep. I will not leave you.. because you are mine already.."


The next thing I knew was I was sitting down in a dining room with a very long dining table.


I looked around and I saw my friends and my guardian was being tied to the chair.


I was really worried about them at the moment but they smelt really good, good in a sense that they are food.


I turned around and there he was, I was sitting on his lap and he was hugging me.


I stood up and looked into the mirror.


I realised something, I was wearing a black Gothic Lolita gown and the Lolita shoes I really wanted.


Also, my face was perfect, flawless, and it was pale.


Most important part was I had beautiful curls, the curls I wanted.


Anyway, he asked me to enjoy my meal but I couldn't because they are all my friends.


He suddenly stood up and moved very quickly, he grabbed someone I didn't know, pulled that person's head backwards and bite hard into the person's neck.


It was the most horrible scene I had seen.


It's wasn't like when he bit me but his face turned very fierce-like and scary.


I was in shocked and I fell to the floor.


When I recovered, the first thing I did was ran as quickly as possible to my guardian's side and protect her.


Suddenly the door slammed open and a lot more vampires came into the room.


They first bowed in front of my 'boyfriend' and then came to me and kissed my hand.


They first thing my 'boyfriend' did was to run to my side with the speed of lightning and growl at the other vampires.


I quickly hugged him and asked him "what happened? why are they bowing to you and why did they even kiss my hand?"


He replied "I am the prince, a royal blood. Bowing to me is a respect but kissing my princess's hand is unacceptable."


I am his what?!


Princess?!


OMG!


I want to hurry up and wake up because it this dream was getting scarier and scarier.


The scene of my friends getting 'eaten' by vampires, my kind.


Tears started to drip onto his shoulders and he kissed my cheeks.


Before I could do anything, I blackout..


This story hasn't end yet but I think nobody reads my blog so, I won't bother to write the ending.


There was only one suitable sentence to discribe everything that was happening there.


-It was a bloody and scary but wonderful dream.

Today is finally the last day of band sessions during the 1 week holiday.


I am so tired of it and I had been moody these few days.


Woke up around 7am on Wednesday and Thursday (today).


It's holiday for goodness sake and shouldn't I have my own personal time too?


Anyway, today there is this band exchange thing, I didn't enjoy it.


On my way home, I listened to this song sang by Miley Cyrus - Goodbye.


There is a few sentence that reminds me of him, at the same time it's what I want to tell him.

I remember when we kissed,
I still feel it on my lips.
The time that you danced with me,
With no music playing.
I remember the simple things,
I remember till I cry.
The one thing I wish I’d forget,
The memory I wanna forget is goodbye.

Yes, I want to forget the memory that hurts me the most.


Which is the time when he said goodbye to me...


-我长到那么大，从来没有那么后悔过。在我这生命中，我最后悔的就是认识你不久就和你在一起。弄得我团团转，痛苦死了。我知道我不完美，也不漂亮。可是我知道我也不是烂到那种地步，到你一定要一次又一次的伤害我。虽然那已经是几个月前的事，但你害得我到现在都无法忘记你。我不知道你从我们拥有过的爱情和感情伤害我，得到了什么好处。我知道我应该牢牢的记住；“不在乎天长地久，只在乎成经拥有”。


但我却做不到。。。


因为我太在乎你的一切。。。

*~*There are things in life that are inevitable. Though it's tough and avoiding always seems the only solution. The real truth is facing it will make it better.*~*

Today is the 2nd day of the 1 week holiday.


Nothing much, except that the fact that I nearly die.


When I was crossing the road and it was green light, which means the pedestrians can cross the road already.


Suddenly a blue car caught me by attention by the corner of my eyes and I took a few steps backwards.


If not, I'm a goner.


That's about all.


Oh and Pi Li MIT quite nice eh!


Haha!


I know I should be doing my art but Pi Li MIT very nice to watch.

Today is the first SRC 2009 and also my first performance, performing dance.


Woke up quite late, 11am, then 1:30pm went out with my father to get my phone back.


After that went to Far East Plaza to buy clothes.


Then go home, prepare and went out again at 6:10pm to SRC.


Due to the traffic jam, because of the IT show, I reached there only at about 7pm.


During my performance I danced wrong 1 part.


After that I dance wrong more for the gold star 1 cha cha.


After that, overall when I was there, all I could feel was very left out.


I am actually trying very hard to fit in but a lot of times is that people doesn't allow me to.


No matter where I am, school or dance class, I will always be left out.


This is how I am supposed to be, a nobody.


I bet even after I go out, work and have a future, I will not be a famous and sucessful fashion designer.


I will be a nobody, because that's what I am and what I predicted I will be in future.

Today, is another ordinary Saturday.


I went for band in the morning until afternoon, then went home prepared my things and went for dance class.


After dance class went to Jerolyn's birthday party.


It wasn't much, in fact it's kinda boring because she only have UNO, no board games.


Though we joked a lot but the fun didn't last and I felt boring again.


Anyway, Jerolyn said that she likes the present I gave her which is a good thing.


I'm done blogging, I'll blog when there is something 'exciting'.


-Currently: Finding time to write Vampire's Rose, Waiting for Midnight Sun and Twilight SAGA official guidebook.

Yesterday I sent my phone for service at Wisma and Ming Chuan accompanied me.


After that went to Far East Plazza to buy clip and earing, end up I bought rings also.


Everything I buy yesterday is roses and nothing but roses.


I saw this ring I really like but it's very expensive, $13.90.


$13.90 for 1 bloody plastic ring is like so not worth it.


He tricked me when I was paying for my rose rubber band.


The first time was "Hey, look! The thing you holding is wet." then of course I will go like "where?" but i was stupid enough not to say 'aiyah never mind la! wet only'.


Then he took the rubber band from hand and nearly paid for it and I walk away to look at earings he then gave it back to me.


After choosing 3 pairs of rose earings because it was written '3 for $5', I went to pay for it and there he goes again.


"Hey, those 2 look like your friend you know?" then I'm like, "where?" then when I didn't notice I actually put all the stuff at the counter and the sales person was already packing them into plastic bags already.


After I realised that I had been tricked again I quickly pushed him away and paid for my things.


*PHEW* That was a close call.


Then we just walked and I saw a lot of necklace and shoe I like but I think I'll just get it another day because I don't want to pay for it.


LOL


After that I went home, did my homework and went to bed.


This morning I woke up late for school and since it's the last day of school I decided not to go.


I don't know what have I missed and it might be important but what's done can't be undone.


Now, I finished blogging and going to go do my art.


Then after that around 7 pm I'm going for my dance lesson.


-Chiong-ing Art, Trying to find time to complete my story, Waiting for Midnight Sun and Twilight SAGA guidebook.

Today went out with Ming Chuan for lunch.


After that met up with Su yi and her 2 other friends.


Shi Ting was late but we already decide that we want to watch a movie called Let The Right One In and the movie starts at 7:15pm.


So they left the ticket with the ticketing usher and we went in for the movie.


I love that movie because of 2 things.


1) It's a vampire romance story.
2)Ming Chuan keep getting startled and I laughed the whole movie. Even after coming out of the cinema.


Anyway, I had a lot of fun today.


I'm too tired to explain all the details but will explain the next time I blog.


Time to sleep, I'm really tired,

The price of the book.

Today is family day again, went out with my dad as usual.


We went to Suntec City and went to pepper lunch to have out lunch.


Wow, it rhymes!


Anyway after that I went to Harris to find some books.


After that went to Cotton On to buy shorts.


Then my dad fetch my sister to Plazza Singapura, after that my dad bring me to Taka shopping.


I bought another Twilight Related book, THE COMPLETE ILLUSTRATED MOVIE COMPANION.


I also made a Kinokuniya's membership card.


After that I went home write finish my story and read THE COMPLETE ILLUSTRATED MOVIE COMPANION obviously.


Then after that I edited songs and pictures then updated my phone.


Currently I am talking on the phone and blogging.


Well there you have, my whole day's boring activity.


Anyway I was supposed to do my art but I really currently AM not in the mood to draw.


There is just so much to do that I have no time for art.


Tomorrow is a confirm that I will get scolding from Mr Sulaiman.


As usual pictures will be in the next post.


-Currently still waiting for the Twilight saga companion and Midnight Sun

Today is the last day of IBMC week.


The secondary 5 students all went for rock climbing.


Before that, we had this Social etiquette talk that was planned by the school.


It was talking about how people should present themselves when they go for a job interview or even to interview for applying to some of the poly courses.


After that, we then went for rock cimbing.


Overall I had fun, though my hands still feel wobbly but I believe that it will pass soon.


I learnt some things today and most of all I had fun.


Now, I am back home and ready to write the next chapter of Vampire's Rose..


*TEEHEE*


NOTE: The story's link can be found at the exits section in my blog.

Yesterday, I read Ka Khay's blog and I am so inspired to write my own vampire romance story.


I will not write the storyline here, you will have to read it yourself.


http://vampirelivingforever.blogspot.com/


The link also can be found under my Exits, Vampire's Rose..


Hope you guys will read it and comment it in my tag box so I will know if it is boring or not.


Once I'm inspired and I have ideas for the story, I then will continue.


If not the chapter sometimes might be half-written


I have two days MC and I have decided that today I want to make my ez-link card because I need to use it to go to school tomorrow.


-Inspired to write a vampire romance story, Waiting for Midnight Sun and Twilight SAGA Official Guidebook

Actually I'm supposed to go to school today.


I woke up at about 4am feeling like a want to vomit.


After reaching the toilet, I vomited whatever I have eaten yesterday with Bryan.


Anyway after that I rinse my mouth and went back to bed.


I then woke up at about 10am, then I keep having diarrhoea.


Went to the toilet 4 times already, then after that I went to the clinic to see a doctor.


Went to buy lunch and ate my medicine.


After that now here I am blogging about how my morning turned out to be.


I might go out later to make my ez-link card, IF I'm feeling much better.


For now I'm just as sick as ever..

Today, woke up late and I took a cab to school.


I don't know if I got detention or not but what the heck.


Actually I intended to go Ajisan with my classmates but since they didn't ask me, I won't be so thick face and go.


Anyway I also promised Bryan yesterday that I come to his house.


He also can drive me to Hougang bus interchange so that I can make new ez-link card but I did something stupid.


I forgotten to bring my IC with me, I only brought along with me my photo.


So end up the making of my ez-link card, once again got delayed.


For Bryan's birthday present, I bought it yesterday and it costs me $70.


Pictures as usual will be in the next post.


After that I watched show with him then we went to play basketball.


I didn't intend to actually play but only shoot some balls but end up I played.


After playing now I am resting and the same time blogging to write about how my day is.


It's kind of stupid actually.


I think I want to play again but next time I am going to bring shirt to at least change after I play finish.


-Still waiting for Midnight Sun and Twilight SAGA Official Guidebook

This week is IBMC week.


I rather study like every other day than to organise some stupid lame game or outting for the Sec 2s.


My class and 4F is incharge of Fort Canning.


I was stationed at the Archeological Dig with Xue Qi at first but because there are some last minute changes made by Miss Ong then Jerolyn join us also.


The sun is blazing hot but luckily we are under a shelter with 2 fans.


Guess what..?


I became the mosquito bait.


Jerolyn never even got 1 bite, Xue Qi got a few and I got the most.


I didn't have fun because just standing there and wait for people is just plain boring.


Later going to go out to make new ez-link card and buy Bryan's present.


I think I'll also buy for Jerolyn a little something.


I know it's a little unfair because I didn't buy present for others but because I missed it and I didn't know their birthday until it had past 1 week already.


Anyway, I am broke because I spent too much nowadays buying things especially food.


OMG I HAD GROWN FATTER!


Got to go on a diet soon right after SYF because that's the period of time I don't need so much energy because I have enough sleep.


I'll end here~


-Waiting for Midnight Sun and the Twilight Saga Official Guidebook.

Today is a very tired day indeed.


I woke up 7am as usual because there is band today.


I fell asleep during combine because I am too tired already.


Anyway, after that I went home to prepare then went out with Ming Chuan.


I met him at about 4pm, I know it's a little late because I have to like leave at around 4:45pm because I have dance class at 5pm.


I bought Famous Amous for my family, didn't eat it for a very long time already.


Anyway, today was raining heavily and I forgotten to take my shoe bag when I left house so I went back to get it.


He accompanied me as usual, I think I gotten used to him accompanying me going home or something.


Anyway after that while we were walking, sharing umbrella, I feel very embarrassed.


By the way he was the one holding onto the umbrella.


We were talking and I was saying things like "WAH! Very pro hor? See my shirt! It's wet!"


He was standing at my right and he placed his left hand on my left arm and pulled me closer to him.


My heart raced 1 beat after another, the rate kept increasing, I have no idea why this happened.


Anyway, my shoe flooded and my legs were wet.


The worst part is when we were crossing the road, one cab was driving so fast that the water splashed the both of us.


The only thing we could do is laugh.


After that because I am late and taking bus isn't going to help so I took a cab to the dance studio.


After reaching the dance studio, I said goodbye to him.


It seems painful to just see him go like this but I have no choice because I have class.


I think our friendship took another big step closer, I think I have a little crush on him but this is very risky.


I am putting my 6 years friendship on risk if I really one day confess to him and he doesn't feel the way I feel for him OR like he said, he doesn't want to have a girlfriend because he know he is not prepared to have one and he doesn't want to hurt the girl.


I am really satisfied I have a friend like him, always cracking jokes, always thinking of others before self, always snatching with me to pay for stuff I bought.


I always have fun going out with him but some times I really am too tired to crack any jokes.


Anyway, today I also realised something.


I not only am invisible in school but also at the dance studio.


It wasn't like this before, I think the main cause of this change is because after he broke up with me he avoids me.


The attention always goes to him rather than to me, obvious.


So currently, I am a nobody, an invisible person, a small fry to so many people.


It just seemed that with or without me as a friend just doesn't seems to make any difference.


Just one less shadow that's all.


I really should learn to get used to always being unoticable, invisible and unwanted.


This way, I will not even complain or say even anything about this matter.


Then people can just go on with their lives with or without me.


Because I am invisible.

Once, there was a black rose..
It wasn't as beautiful as the other red roses..
Even though it's the only black rose,
nobody seemed to notice it..

The black rose just stood there,
wasting all its remaining life away..

Nobody sees it..
Nobody watered it..
Even the sun wouldn't shine for it..
It was left alone in the darkness..

Slowly...
The petals fell..
The rose wither..

The delicate black rose never spoke a word..
Always trying to hide its flaws..
Always trying to blend in with the red roses..
Still..
It is always being ostracized..
Alone..
Outcast..
Invisible..

Shockingly..
People start noticing the black rose.
A bud start to grow from the stalk..
The bud grew into a new beautiful black rose.
This time, the sun shone brightly for the black rose.
Making it the most beautiful and outstanding one.
Not by the beauty from its physiques..
But from its inner self..

Art Is My Life, Designing Is My Passion, Success Is My Future, Happiness WILL Last Till My Twilight Years

Name: *-* Crystal Chan *-*
Nick: Shirayuki Mizuki, 瑞希 白雪
Age: *-* 17 *-*
Gender: *-* Female *-*
Zodiac Sign: *-* Capricorn *-*
Birthday: *-* 1st January *-*
School: *-* MacPherson Sec *-*
Occupation: *-* Student *-*
Affiliations: *-* Free Tinker *-*
Current Status: *-* Single *-*

-Her Romeo

-Hobbies and Interests:
Chatting, Shopping, Listening To People's Troubles, Watching Anime, Day Dream, Listening To Music, Drawing, Singing, Dancing, Being Very Happy, Swimming, Sight Seeing, Happy-Go-Lucky

-Favorite Animals:
Panda, Baby Seals, Penguins, Dolphins, Killer Whale, Dogs

-Favorite Books:
Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, Birthing House, Madly Murderous, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on Love & Friendship

-Favorite Movies:
Horror Movies, Saddist Movies & Comedies
Those movies that will carve deep in my memories. As long as they are good movies I like them.

-Favorite Music:
Hip-Hop, Pop, Rap, R&B & Classical

-Favorite Shows:
Drama:
Fated To Love You （命中注定我爱你）， Corner With Love （转角遇到爱）， Devil Beside You （恶魔在身边）， Why Why Love （换换爱）， The Clue Collector (霹靂MIT), Black Sugar Macchiato （黑糖马奇朵）, Hana Kimi - Japanese Version （花样少年少女）

Japanese Anime:
Chrno Crusade, Tsukuyomi Moon Phase, Maboraho, Mahoraba, Ichigi100%, Card Captor Sakura, Chobits, Kyou Kara Maou, Full Metal Alchemist, Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club, Aishiteruze Baby, Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu, Ai Yori Aoshi, Magister Negi Magi Mahou Sensei Negima, Fruits Basket, Hand Maid May, Love Hina, DearS, Koi Kaze, Death Note, Tsubasa Chronicals, XXXHolic, High School Girls, School Days, Yamato Nadesico Shichihenge, Sumomo Mo Momo Mo, Gakuen Alice, Suzuka, Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch, Shakugan No Shana, Rozen Maiden, Strawberry Panic, Inukami, Shuffle! Memories, kamichama karin, Beating Angel Dokuro-chan, Demonbane, Futakoi Alternative, Avatar The Last Air Bender, Devil May Cry, Kimikiss Pure Rouge, Rosario + Vampire, Vampire Knight, D.Gray-Man, Elfen Lied, Trinity Blood, School Days, Jigoku Shoujo, Blood+

-Boring Movies
-Boring Books
-People Who Backstabs
-People Who Breaks Promises
-People Who Lies
-People Who Acts Nice

-Pass O'level with good grades
-Get into Laselle
-Be a sucessful fashion designer
-Learn interior designing also
-Earning large sum of money
-Go Japan, Paris, USA, Canada
-Buy a silver convertable Volvo and house
-Design my own house
-Have a long drive through coniferous forest roads
-Forever remain SFF with Bryan
-Be with him for a very long time
-Remain Happy Go Lucky Always
-Live a healthy lifestyle, Mentally Socially and Physically

-Life Is Like A Block Of Wood, Plain, Boring, Square And Down To Earth. However If You Believe In It, In Yourself, You Actually Can Achieve Something Magical, Unexpected and Unimaginable.
-Hard Work, Integrity, Enthusiasm, Perserverence, Good Luck & Determination Is The Key To Sucess And Dreams.
-There are things in life that are inevitable. Though it's tough and avoiding always seems the only solution. The real truth is facing it will make it better.
-Never Let Small Matters Bring You Down, Never Give Up Just Because You Think You Can't.
-NEVER Cherish People Who Doesn't Cherish You.
-As Time Goes By, You Learn Things That You Can Never Learn From Books Or From School.
-Work Hard To Persuit Your Own Happiness And Future.
-Never Let Anyone Stop You From Doing What's Right, What You Like or Best At.
-Only Allow Guys Similar to Edward Cullen, Or Better, To Be With You.
-Everyday, Happy Go Lucky.

A Girl Can Dream You Know?

-So ready for this to be the end, for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're willing to give up everyhting. It's not the end, it's the beginning.

-"It's twilight," Edward noted. "It's the safest time for us. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way... the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" "I like the night," Bella replied. "Without the dark, we'd never see the stars."

-When You Can Live Forever, What Do You Live For?

-Nothing Will Be The Same.

May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009

♪ Vampire's Rose.. ♪
♪ My Friendster Profile ♪

♀ Ai Ling ♫ Akiko
♀ Alia
♀ Alicer ♫ Yuko
♂ Aloysius ♫ Aloy
♀ Amy
♀ Angela
♂ Bryan Chung ♫ SFF!
♂ Bryan Tan
♂ Chandra
♀ Chin Gek ♫ Kizuko
♀ Geraldine
♀ Hui Juan
♂ Jason ♫ Potato
♀ Jerolyn ♫ Jelly
♀ Jia Ming
♀ Ka Khay
♀ Lenise
♂ Lester
♀ Lindsey
♀ Li Rong ♫ Leh Long
♀ Li Rong ♫ Leron
♀ Miisha
♀ Shi Ting
♀ Shu Hui
♀ Shu Yi
♀ Siew Hwee
♀ Su Yi ♫ Su Ni (Mash Potato)
♀ Vivien
♀ Yeok Hoon ♫ Yeok Yeok
♀ Yi Jie ♫ Xiao Extra

Music Playlist at MixPod.com