~September 12, 2008 - 11:49 PM Y
*~* "It's twilight," Edward noted. "It's the safest time for us. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way... the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" *~*
*~* "I like the night," Bella replied.
"Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." *~*
This post is about my this whole week...
Sunday, is Bianca birthday also on that day I had conflict with my sister.
After reaching auntie Sharon's place, we went to the toilet first then we have conflict there.
From friendship problems she linked it to family problems that's why she cried for almost 1 hour.
After that, my sister told auntie Sharon what happen and the reason she cry.
After my sister stop crying, we went to Bianca's house to celebrate her birthday.
I reach there, I was shocked because the condominium is so bloody small.
Most of the time Lenise and I were at the poolside talking about that is troubling me.
After that we went up to sing for Bianca her birthday song then we went in her room.
After that we start to disturb her and we took some pictures of her favourite soft-toy turtle...
LOL funny right?
Soon it got late and it's time to go home!
Monday I didn't go to school, so I went to help out at my mother's shop.
Tuesday I woke up late, so I ask uncle to fetch me to school.
End up, I got scolded badly and I cried.
I remember clearly my last words were "If you dare to scold my mother about this matter I will hate you forever!" (I said this because he said he want to scold my mother for my mistake)
Then I slammed his car door real hard.
After that, I was so pissed I cannot control my anger.
After my anger subsided, I realised school is much boring than usual because most of the teachers didn't come.
Mr Salim gave us maths worksheet but I finished it in 1 lesson so I have nothing else to do.
Then almost every lesson I play my psp.
Also he said after finishing the worksheet he had given to us, we can go home so I went home immediately since I had finished it.
On my way home, I called my mother and tell her about uncle then at first she talk to me nicely but soon the "niceness" turns into a lecture.
End up when I walk home, my tears cannot be controlled and they start rolling off my cheeks.
I was pissed at them so I didn't go my mother's shop to help her out.
That whole day was so boring!
Because of Tuesday's events, I decided not to go to school on Wednesday.
Yi Jie called me, when I pick up she ask me why didn't I go to school and I told her I am sick.
I really AM sick but not the type which is very very bad so I didn't go see a doctor.
After that I go to my mother's shop to help her out.
Thursday morning was bad just because I didn't go to school.
Yi Jie keep calling me then I keep rejecting her call then I off my phone.
After that she call my house but I have to pick up quickly because I don't want to wake my mother up.
After that she scold me for playing truancy but I didn't.
I didn't PLAY TRUANCY because play truancy means children who lie to their parents that they are going to school but they are not.
Well anyway this "thing" lasted for about 1 hour including the sms I sent to scold her then she send back =.=ll
Wasted 1 hour of my sleep...
Zzzz...
After that I went to my mother's shop to help her out again.
Thursday night, I was afraid that she will call me again on Friday morning because I intend on not going to school again so I put my phone to silent mode but it will still vibrate so I put my phone in my closet in the middle of a pile of shirts.
Friday morning when I wake up, I was a little shocked to see no missed calls at all.
However something bad woke me up.
I dreamt of Jeff kissing Ka Khay in front of me and still ask her to be his
girlfriend...
I still love him and Ka Khay is consider my good friend.
How can they treat me like this...
*sigh*
After that I thought I can sleep back and at least have a better dream, turns out that dream continued.
It is like as though I see their dating process...
They kissed, hold hands, hugged...
No matter how hard I try, I will no longer be the girl who Jeff wants to be in his arms...
After finally waking up from that nightmare I went to my mother's shop again to help her out.
I cannot stop thinking of that dream...
I got very depressed the whole day thinking of him.
I thought I got him out of my mind for a time already but all of a sudden a lot of memories of him suddenly came back popping in my mind making my brain going to explode...
I really cannot understand one thing is that day when he dump me, I asked him why he lose feelings for me and he said he did some thinking.
I asked him he thought of what and he said he thought of being with me is very unhappy.
Strange thing is I asked him the same question today but he say he was happy being with me.
I really don't understand.
I cannot say nobody understand how I feel but all I can say is I don't understand why he must treat me like this.
It is like as though throwing my effort away by the phrase "I have no feelings for you"
I will still pretend to be happy as usual and hope my fake happiness turns into a real happiness then I will forget him eventually.
I don't think I will forget him that easily.
I have never felt like this before, every time when my relationship fails I only cry for maximum 2 days.
This time is different, it's been almost 1 month but I still cannot forget him..
*sigh*
My life is a little boring now because I have no boyfriend and no friends who will ask me out on weekdays but it is like a roller coaster to me because the love I have for him still haven't fade a bit...
I bet to him he doesn't really care because he doesn't even like me anymore why should he even care for me isn't it?
This saddens me more because I am not used to when a person treats me really nice once all of a sudden treat me very cold...
Hope tommrrow is a better day?
Tommrrow I am going out with Ka Khay to Orchard shopping, I hope everything turns out right...
Also one more thing, Wei Jie will make my phone bill explode because of the sms he send to me everyday. =.=ll
*~*There are things in life that are inevitable. Though it's tough and avoiding always seems the only solution. The real truth is facing it will make it better.*~*
