Always Fantasising..

RE-LINK

2009-09-02T21:22:00.000+08:00

Pictures..

2009-08-31T16:04:00.001+08:00

Ack the pictures cant be uploaded..

1) Giant ice cream, took it when I went out with Su Yi, Shi Ting and her boyfriend to the movies, (it feels like im going out for the first time, stayed at home doing art for too long)
2) A painting I did for O levels prelims.
3) Panda Chocolate biscuit box
4) Panda Chocolate biscuit wrapper

Everything is going to be alright, live today for tomorrow..
Tomorrow will be a brighter day..

Not back yet.

2009-08-31T15:54:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I blogged..

Recently I am just busy with art coursework, I still have a lot to do.

Me and Ming Chuan still lovingly together happily going to celebrate our 4th month together.

Time passes really quickly when you are busy.

For people who are going through O levels in MPSS, prelims are halfway through already.

Everyone is so stressed up with work and most hardly have time to enjoy.

Anyway recently while doing art I was watching movies and anime.

Didn't expect Blood+ to be that nice, a little draggy though.

I ate this really cute biscuit yesterday. (pictures will be in next post)

Pimples are appearing on my face faster than they disappear again.

I guess it's the lack of sleep I have recently trying to finish art and the irregular sleeping time.

Also I am in love with this phone called STORM from Blackberry.

Me and Su Yi decided to work together during the holidays then we use that money to buy phones we wanted on Christmas.

Anyway it will be long for me to start blogging again, maybe after prelims or O levels.

Alevour~!

Clarification

2009-07-24T23:49:00.004+08:00

Clarification time.

whenever I mentioned the word 'BITCH' I am always talking about me.

Second, there is a lot of misunderstanding because when I wrote that post I was venting anger and whatever that comes to my mind I just type it out without thinking.

Also thanks for pointing out that I look different because that photo was taken 3 years ago.

After having pimples I didn't like taking any photos so I don't have any of my recent photo.

I know I now buang okay? I am already constantly reminding myself I am so ugly that even car see me also want to run over my face.

Anyway, this was how it goes.

That day, when it was photo taking, Yeok Hoon sat down because she see me not wanting to sit down.

In the end I thought no space so I wanted to find another place so I took a few steps forward and Staphanie called Jerolyn to sit with them.

Problem was, I didn't know that the sofa could squeeze 1 more person and I was very frantic and confused that time so in the end I only remember the very negative things which was "Staphanie calling Jerolyn to sit beside her and left me out."

Instantly after that I was pissed so I told Su Yi and Shi Ting say "They ps me again, (part of the story, leaving out a lot of parts) Staphanie called Jerolyn to sit beside her and left me out.

Then they of course went to ask them what happened and because I only told them the reason why I was pissed I never tell the whole story so in the end they say I was making up story.

Anyway after that Shi Ting scolded me and I keep thinking back. My thoughts were not "I hate them" or "Why are they doing this to me?". It was "Why am I always doing this kind of things. I always do something I don't know I did. It felt as though I was a different person, split personality or something. Or is it that I am insane?".

I kept asking myself this few questions but just couldn't find the answer because my mind was so full of thoughts and everything just seemed a blur already.

Of course first thoughts were death then it become "I want to go home."

After that I told my mother my side of the story and she told me that being alone was never bad because this way I have more time to do what I need to do.

Usually friends influence you in such that they make you unable to concentrate on your studies or something.

Then I played Dragonica the whole day.

Dragonica is a game similar to maple except it's more fun, graphics are much better and it's easier to play.

Went to school the following day only feeling angry and frustrated.

I still wasn't thinking clearly and I only know one thing is I felt being used.

I'm not saying they use me, they never did but I was saying how I feel only.

I know they one period of time treat me really nice and I thought they accepted me totally.

I am a very sensitive person, to people it might be a small thing but to me it's very big because every small little thing will accumulate.

Anyway back to the point, the reason why I was feeling being used because the great difference between 'suddenly they treat me nice' and 'the next thing I know, they start to isolate from me again'.

My first thought was, "because you want things from me you then find me then when you don't need me you left me aside?"

I was writing my feelings and not they really treat me cruelly.

They never did like me before and I know the reason why.

The first impression I gave them was already negative and including those rumors people always spread about me.

About the Karaoke thing, "When they want to come my place just because I have the K Box Karaoke set they want to come my house sing for free.", though it sounds harsh but my real meaning was "free what! who also want to come!" I wasn't saying them being very poor or budget or whatever you can think of. I was only saying it's free! Even if it's me I would want to go too.

As for the cleaning up, they did offer to help but because they were guests, how can I let my guests help clean my house for me?

Also, I said until I wasn't willing to clean up after they left because I didn't enjoy myself. When they were singing K, I was being left alone. It sounds ridiculous to me, 'feeling left out in my own house'.

They really did offer to help me clean but I declined. I said until it's such a big deal because when you didn't enjoy yourself, will you enjoy cleaning after they left? Of course not! The feeling will be like shit too.

I know right now it's like 5B and C people already know this stupid thing. Just because I vent my anger on my blog then it turned out this way?

I know what I said was too much but my blog is my dairy and I want to write what I want. I don't care if my music is outdated because I don't on my blog to listen to music so what for I change? Just because people tell me to do so? Then won't that make me very tired?

Anyway back to the point. Those previous post, I was only writing HOW I FEEL and not stating the fact that WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

Anyway now I know why they dislike me, just because of the things I sec 3 that time say? I always talk about things that aren't relevant to them, then they dislike me? Then since dislike never just tell me right away?

Also I know why till now they still dislike me because their impression of me stopped at the 3 years ago's Keng Hwee and not the present one.

I know I now very seldom talk about things like that because I hardly even talk to them so what makes them think I didn't change? I'm just not sure.

Also, if you guys go think about it, just because some things I did made you guys don't like me, then what about yourself? There are times when people make mistakes and what makes my mistake so serious and other's are not?

So this means other people can make mistakes and I can't? People can be angry and I can't? People can vent anger and I can't? So people can have feelings and I can't?

Like what Shu Hui says, no matter how hard I try they still dislike me. At least I tried, it's better to at least take the effort to try than to never try at all.

I would rather face problems than to run away from it. So for now, whatever people don't like about me just say it out, vent your anger on me about whatever you don't like about me then move on.

Also if is there anything I miss out just tell me.

Xue Qi: you don't mistaken, though my blog I keep writing "them them them" but you don't know that in my mind I never thought about you so I wasn't saying about you. You did nothing and I never was talking about you.

Lastly, whatever that post I write, really is mainly of how I FEEL only, that's all. No other intentions.

ARGH!

2009-07-23T20:26:00.000+08:00

ARGH!

I think for now, CHILL BITCH!!

You just thought of a new idea and storyline for your art and don't because of small things affect art.

Fucked up, misunderstandings!

2009-07-23T19:53:00.004+08:00

Today is a more fucked up day.

I feel this is so stupid!

Why does people have the right to say how they feel to people and yet I don't?

Telling my friend something that is bothering me is complaining?

Just because me and my friend don't really talk much in school means that we cannot use other means of communication?

Just because I vent anger in my blog means I will never recover?

Just because I say singing K at my house is free means I want them to pay?

Why does people always never get what I mean then make the correct interpretation of what I'm trying to say?

When nobody tells you where you gone wrong will you know it all by yourself?

When you did your very best yet people say you never tried, does this means many people hate you?

If it's so, can I die?

I believe if I die, everyone will cheer and celebrate that the bitch is finally gone.

Wow, I really wonder how it's like to die..

DIE BITCH DIE!!

ALL IT TAKES IS 1 STEP OFF YOUR HDB FLAT AND IT'S DONE!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

NEVER HATE THIS BITCH SO MUCH IN MY LIFE.

ALWAYS TRYING SO HARD YET MOVE JUST ABIT LIKE A SNAIL. DO EVERYTHING ALSO WRONG! SEE LA BITCH! EVERYONE HATES YOU SO MUCH!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE NOW?! WHY?!?!

Another Fucking day

2009-07-22T17:44:00.005+08:00

Nothing much happened for the past 1 week until yesterday..

It was Racial Harmony Day mixing with MacPherson surf in style day.

Most of the sec 5s wore home clothes to school.

The day before I went out with Su Yi to Bugis just to buy clothes and shoes for yesterday's event.

Yesterday morning once I wake up I keep having this very weird feeling that it's going to be a bad day and my instinct was right.

We have this photo taking session and I'll just cut short the story.

I was about to sit down but I commented I don't like corners because I am always left out when taking photos.

I will always stand right at the side where nobody will want to pose with me or something.

I am not an anti-social person, I tried to be-friend with everyone in my class unfortunately nobody cherish me as a friend.

I am always being left out and never wanted.

I am just not welcomed by anyone.

Today too, I was alone the whole day.

Recess or lunch, all alone.

It's not I never try, I tried my very best but nobody just wants to be my friend.

I cried badly yesterday, partly of the photo taking thing.

Readers now might think for such matter I cry for what?!

Let me tell you, the photo taking thing is indeed a very small matter but what really matters the most was I was feeling like I was being used the whole time.

I am saying I FEEEL that i was being used but the fact is they did not.

I am very sensitive and I tend to think in a different way than others, but if anyone have anything that you dislike about me all you have to do is say.

Tell me what went wrong with me and I will try to change.

5th July - 14th July

2009-07-14T19:38:00.002+08:00

5th July - 14th July is a long week so I'll just post it short.

5th July, Sunday:

I went out with dad I think that day I watched Land Of The Lost.

6th - 9th July, Monday - Thursday:

Normal school day.

10th July, Friday:

I woke up that day feeling very unwell but I still go to school because that day Mrs Chua opens up the Art room for us to do our Art after school.

In the end when I was taking my daily temperature check in school, my temperature triggered and I was sent down.

In the end I was feeling so sick that it made me feel like I really want to be home.

Anyway a lot of things happen, like my classmates (the guys) tease me because I was wearing a mask, the fatty doesn't want to fetch me home and also after Mr Alex Tay promise me he will send me home, I waited for him for an hour plus because of his family.

After reaching home I called my dad and he fetch me to go see this really expensive private doctor.

Luckily I only had all flu symptoms and not H1N1.

Then when they take my temperature it was 38 degrees and by the time I reached home, showered and already ready to sleep, my temperature was 38.8.

Ming Chuan was supposed to accompany me that day but because I was too ill he decide to accompany me the next day at my house.

11th July, Saturday:

I slept too early the day before and found myself waking up at 7 going 8 am.

I sms him and he quickly prepared and rush down to my place as fast as he could with my breakfast.

After that he even take a clean cloth to put on my forehead to make the fever subside because by then it was 39.5 degrees, then I did sleep.

After some time, I felt much better and we chatted.

Halfway through I did sleep because I was still having fever and I keep feeling like I am always tired.

I didn't go dance that day by the way.

12th July, Sunday:

I was supposed to go out with my dad but because I was still sick and so Ming Chuan came my house again to take care of me.

As usual he sat beside me and watched me sleep, bought me breakfast lunch and dinner and also taking whatever things I need to me.

13th July, Monday:

Nothing much happened, only I feel it's a bad day.

I don't wish to say..

14th July, Tuesday:

Also another ordinary day except I had maths mock exam today and I didn't complete it.

Also I ate a lot today, diet time!

pictures on 2nd June

2009-07-04T12:51:00.005+08:00

Zinol trying to fit into the clothes.. HAHAH!!

Happy 1st month present to dar! Haha! The cake is not baked by me but the rest are.

24th June - 4th July

2009-07-04T10:48:00.004+08:00

24th June Wednesday:

I forgotten what I did that day but I believe that it's as usual, boring..

25th June Thursday:

I think I stayed at home the whole day that day.

Reason is, if I didn't remember wrongly, I scratched my face until it looks like I fell on my face.

With the warts and everything.

So gross!!!

I don't remember what I really did that day already.

26th June Friday:

Ming Chuan and Jeffrey came over my place and helped me upgrade my computer.

They came over, took my CPU then went off.

I did my usual things, clean, wash and so on.

After they come back, fix everything for me, then my mother asked Jeffrey to help fix the other 2 computer that is faulty and wanted to upgrade a laptop but he wasn't really free that day so the laptop just have to wait.

Then I don't remember the rest of the day.

27th June Saturday:

Because of my face, I really don't feel like going for dance so I didn't go.

My self-esteem went down the drain that day and it's just not my day to go out.

Because my mother is at home and she said if she is at home Ming Chuan can come so he came.

He accompanied me the whole day, preventing me from scratching my itching-non-stop face.

That day went well, he left quite late.

28th June Sunday:

I went out with my dad.

We actually wanted to eat the very expensive restaurant but because we saw the restaurant is almost empty, we decide not to go in.

We ended up eating Ichiban Boshi.

After eating then I think we bought some things and I went home.

The rest I don't remember.

29th June Monday:

It's school reopen.

The holiday seemed so short, I was still in holiday mood.

Anyway, I went to school but halfway through my stomach got really painful and I went home.

Ming Chuan was so worried so he came to see me.

My tummy hurts so bad that he feels bad because he couldn't do anything.

After that, I fell asleep and he used my computer.

When I wake up the first thing he asked was "are you feeling better? how's your tummy?"

Of course it still hurts but I said it's not pain anymore.

Anyway after that he left not long as it's quite late and I have school the next day.

(My quite late now is around 9 plus 10 already because I sleep earlier and earlier everyday.)

Then I did my things and went to bed.

30th June Tuesday:

I went to school, lesson was as boring as usual.

I nearly fall asleep during English lesson, even Celester also nearly fall asleep.

It's Mrs Lee's talking, so monotone, so 'weird', as usual.

Anyway after that the day was like so normal, as usual I went recess with Shi Ting and Su Yi then Siew Hwee will always be there also.

We chatted and eat of course.

Then usually it's Bio after recess then as usual I didn't pay much attention to the teacher and keep talking to Shi Ting.

Then after that It's just as usual.

After school, I had Chinese oral and Maths remedial.

These 2 is happening at the same time.

Means my Maths teacher, Mr Salim, assigned us work then while we are doing when it's our turn then we go for oral.

Oral finish, go back class for remedial.

At this moment I had some mis-communication with Ming Chuan.

At first I ask him to accompany me buy things but in the end he sms me something like "will rush" so I thought he was saying he will be rushing because he was out at that moment.

So I tell him I will go alone, he knew I wasn't happy but he thought I was angry with him.

I wasn't angry with him, I was angry with myself.

After reaching Plaza Sing, I went to buy the ingredients for his present and at this time he was trying to contact me asking me where I am but because I don't want him always because of me in the end neglet his friends so I didn't tell him where I am.

Also I was afraid that he will be very rush to get there so I insist that he goes along with his friend.

In the end the both of us was like 'mad' at ourselves and both was hurt because of me.

Of course to him he feels that it's his fault for telling me the "rush" thing but it's my fault.

In the end I nearly cry but I asked him "even if I tell you now where I am you won't come right?"

Then he replied "where are you now?" and so I told him.

Then finally I bought finish his present and I walked around for quite long, till my legs hurt, he finally came.

Then we window shopped then went to Orchard Centre the new shopping centre.

Halfway while walking I need to use the ladies and he was holding my bag for me, someone called him gay.

Of course he wasn't happy and we purposely walk pass them and he keep making comments about them.

Then that group of people keep avoiding us, I was very embarrassed but what to do?

What's past is past.

Then after walking around, we went to Takashimaya and had our 'dinner'.

By the time we finished dinner, the only thing I can think of is "I want to sleep, I want to go home."

By the time I reached home was around 9 plus 10, he of course, escorted me home.

After preparing my things, he called and we talked till I fell asleep.

1st July Wednesday:

Went to school, did the usual stuff then went home.

It was Su Yi and Guan Wen's 1 month anniversary but he wasn't free so instead, I went out with her accompanying her.

I used Su Yi as Guinea Pig when she came my place to test the present I was going to make for Ming Chuan.

After that we went to Bugis, I played JuBeat then we went to Iluma and after Shi Ting reached we went to Bugis Street to shop because they wanted to buy things.

We walked for a very long time in the end Su Yi didn't buy anything and she wasn't happy about it.

Anyway by around 9 plus, the only thing I can think of is sleep.

Then around 10 plus we go off together.

After reaching home, I talked to Ming Chuan on the phone awhile and I fell asleep.

2nd June Thursday:

Today in school it was HILARIOUS!

We were supposed to have 'dancing lessons' during PE but Ms Lau didn't come so we played at the dance studio.

Zainol and Siva played with the Contemporary Dance's dress.

They wore them and it really was very funny.

The rest of the school time was as usual.

That day Ming Chuan waited for me outside school and escort me home.

Happy 1st month Dar!

That day he was feeling very guilty because he didn't get me anything.

That day I couldn't go out because I was out for the past 2 days so he came my house and I prepared his present for him.

My cooking wasn't very good so this is the 'best' I can think of making for him.

After giving it to him, he keep insist that he help me wash the pots but I insist he doesn't.

After I wash everything, I accompanied him.

I was so tired that day and the only thing I can think of is sleep and nap.

After that I think I took a nap and I was so happy every time when he come my place, after I open my eyes, the first thing I see is him.

Anyway after that when it was night, he went home.

I prepared my things and went to bed.

3rd June Friday, yesterday:

I went to school, did the usual things.

He escort me home too, then when we were about to have lunch together I called my sister and ask if she wants me to buy home and she suddenly tells me my mother fell down.

Because she went in the kitchen then she accidentally slipped and landed on her injured foot.

Then my sister asked me to buy the necessities, my mother's and her lunch and so I did.

Then he escort me home.

The rest of the day was as usual.

4th June Saturday, Today:

Woke up by the construction sound again, then I did the usual cleaning and keeping.

I went to wash up, chatted with Bryan and Su Yi on msn, I downloaded some songs and here I am now blogging.

Going for dance later on..

(Pictures will be posted in next post.)

Pictures

2009-06-24T01:44:00.006+08:00

Appitizer

Main course: Chicken

Ice Cream Cake!
1st Layer: Vanilla Ice Cream
2nd Layer: Red Bean Paste
3rd Layer: Green Tea Ice Cream
4th Layer: Cheese Cake

Overall taste: At first bitter then there is a sweet taste of Vanilla with a dash of Strawberry paste.

Also, the strawberry is superb. Second time eating a strawberry this sweet. (The first time was also from the same restaurant.)

Desert: Ice Cream and Fruits

14th - 23th June 2009

2009-06-24T00:24:00.003+08:00

14th June, Sunday:

Went out with dad to Tampines.

My sister bought a new computer.

I bought a new wireless mouse because the previous one, dust stuck onto the rubber surface because the rubber parts melted and it became hairy.

Then after that went home helped my sister to fix up the computer while she did nothing much but supervise.

In the end the CPU was faulty.

She waited for my dad to fetch her back to Tampines to get a one-to-one exchange while I did my own things.

By the time she came back was around 8 plus then I have to help her fix it back.

Anyway the day soon ended and I went to bed forgetting what I did after.

15th June Monday:

Usual day, until around 7 plus my mother asked my sister and I to go Parkway to get the fence she ordered.

(The fence is for locking the dogs out.)

Then after buying, I went to Mos Burger and ordered 3 corn soup takeaway.

Then after that I went home, I drank the 3 soups, did my things then went to bed.

16th June Tuesday:

I wanted to go out with Ming Chuan but in the end my mother didn't allow me and she still scolded me very badly.

Then when it was around 4 plus I asked her again and she scolded me but she allowed me to go out.

Weird huh?

Then went out with him, we went to Plaza Sing, ate JustAcia and played arcade.

The day seemed short and it was time for me to go because he is meeting his friends.

Then he escort me home then he went off to meet his friends.

That night he went clubbing with them, I was a little sad because I couldn't accompany him.

Anyway I prepared my things and went to bed soon.

17th June Wednesday:

Stayed at home the whole day.

Usual routine, eat, watch television, play computer, some business, help my mother around when she need help then prepare for bed.

18th June Thursday:

Same thing happened except talked on the phone with Ming Chuan.

19th June Friday:

Same thing.

20th June Saturday:

Afternoon was supposed to go out with Ming Chuan but he didn't hear me ask him to wake me up at 12pm so I woke up at 1:30pm.

Once I wake up, I felt excruciating pain located right of my stomach.

I thought I should be fine after awhile so I went to brush my teeth and eat my 'breakfast'.

However, I was wrong.

The longer I tolerate, the pain becomes more and more painful.

In the end after telling my mother, tears automatically rolled down my cheeks.

I rested awhile and saw my phone and for the moment I couldn't find the strength to message him already and my hands was shaking so I replied a very short and rude message.

He thought I was still mad at him but I wasn't.

Anyway, after I recovered, I finished off my 'breakfast' and do my usual stuff like cleaning and helping my mother.

Only until I was free, I asked where he was and he said "you guess?" and immediately I knew where he was and I ask my mother if I can go out for awhile.

I get changed and went to find him.

He was sitting at the stairs near the lift lobby on the floor I'm staying at.

Then we went down and walked then sat down and talked then it's time for me to go my dance class.

After preparing, he escorted me to the dance studio.

Every single time when I have to leave him, I feel really sad but such a small matter can't bring me down because when he go National Service, I have to wait for him even longer.

I will wait.. =)

Anyway dance was as usual, nothing much except I still hate to dance with Wei Jie and the teacher keep putting the both of us together.

Then after dance, went home straight.

Had a big conflict with my sister ended up with a disastrous night.

I had never cried so badly for quite some time and the feeling just sucks.

I suddenly felt I couldn't breath but the tears just kept rolling down.

I called Ming Chuan and he comforted me.

The rest I don't feel like typing out because it's my family business.

Anyway that night felt long and pain but I slept early because I cried..

21st June Sunday:

My grandmother, Aunt and Uncle came.

My grandmother brought ingredients to cook 'Mee Tai Mak' for my mother and left the extras in the refrigerator.

Then I went out with dad again at around 1pm then we went to eat the really expensive restaurant and this time I got to take the nice photos because my sister ordered the expensive set.

Then after that we went to watch Land Of Lost.

That show was funny and stupid.

If your English isn't good enough you practically don't really know the jokes they are saying.

Most are puns.

Anyway after that I went home and my sister gussy up to go SCR while I stayed at home to help out my mother.

Su Yi was supposed to come my house but she got fever and she couldn't make it.

After that I shifted QQ from the kitchen into the toilet and I washed the whole kitchen floor.

That day was very tiring because also included I didn't sleep well the night before.

I talked to Ming Chuan on the phone too before sleeping..

22nd June Monday:

I went out with Ming Chuan, had a great time.

At the same time I had to buy supplies for my house so the outing made us look.. 'old'?

We played arcade and completed the whole of Silent Hill.

The ending only can be described by two different words, 'Gan Lame' and 'WTF?!'

I played Jubeat, till now I still cannot play level 10 songs but I can play level 9 ones.

After that went home, same, he escort me home.

23rd June Tuesday, Today:

I stayed at home the whole day, halfway through Ming Chuan passed me back my thumb drive which consisted of a game that hasn't been released in Singapore yet.

Also he helped me asked his friend to burn the game into a DVD so that the sign "Original CD/DVD" won't appear again.

In the end the game didn't work because my computer didn't meet it's requirements.

I should have known it long ago because my computer was bought 8 years ago but it's still working well.

Just didn't think so much that my computer wont be able to 'hold' Prototype.

After that helped out my mother and we ate KFC for dinner which I ate yesterday so I didn't really enjoy it because I don't really like to eat fast food.

Eating it around once in a week or maybe in two weeks but two continuous days..

It just makes me sick.

Anyway I didn't eat much.

Then cleaned up, helped out my mother also then now I am blogging and chatting on the phone with Ming Chuan.

(Photos will be posted in next post.)

Class outting pictures.

2009-06-15T00:19:00.015+08:00

Arrival!

We buried Shu Hui's feet.

Group photos~!

Taken at the big 'Siloso' sculpture.

Taken while we were running back.

Beautiful scenery.

More group photos.

Me and Staphanie.

Staphanie and Jerolyn.

HAHA! Candidate shot while we were on the beach tram.

Pose!

Very nice lighting so I took a picture of it.

Bye bye Sentosa.

Video of Kuan Ta kena thrown into sea.

9th June - 13th June

2009-06-14T00:39:00.008+08:00

9th June Tuesday:

I woke up really early that day for Maths remedial.

I was shocked to see him waiting for me at my lift lobby again.

It was like 7 plus in the morning and I believe that he waited very long for me because I didn't tell him the exact time I will be going to school.

Anyway, Maths remedial was boring and all we did was a few questions which I just can't understand even after Mr Salim's explanation.

After that, I didn't go for art and I went home.

Then I met up with Ming Chuan to go to East Coast for cycling.

At the beginning of it was nice but halfway through, he made me angry.

He felt guilty for treating me badly and I forgave him immediately.

After forgiving him, he still keeps on apologising to me and so, I told him let's go eat buffet.

I told him since I forgave him and he still feels guilty, why don't he serve me at the buffet.

In the end he still feels very guilty and I told him "I thought we had a deal? I told you, you serve me and we call it quits." but he said "This doesn't count because it is my duty to serve you. You are my girlfriend, it's my responsibility."

In the end, I give up because I just couldn't make him feel not guilty anymore.

After that, went home, cleaned Ping Ping's mess prepared my stuff and went to bed.

10th June Wednesday:

I intended to go Maths remedial but I was really tired and I just couldn't climb out of bed so I sleep back.

Was supposed to go for art after that but I slept till around 2pm and I just felt that the time was a little late to go for art so I didn't go.

The rest of the day I just Spongebob episodes from http://spongebob.com

Anyway, the day seemed to passed really fast.

Prepared to go out, meet up with Ming Chuan then took cab to St James to 'meet' the passerby.

We waited for estimated 2 hour.

In the end he/she didn't turn up so we took cab home.

Then I cleaned Ping Ping's mess again, prepared my stuff, talked on the phone with Ming Chuan for awhile and went to bed.

11th June Thursday:

It was the day 'Ghost Of Girlfriend's Past' and 'Drag Me To Hell' officially released in cinemas.

I wanted to watch the both of them but I wanted to go for art too.

I woke up quite early that day, met up with Ming Chuan early in the morning and we had MacDonalds for breakfast that day.

Then I went for art at around 11:30am and I left the art room at 4pm.

After that went home to prepare and when I checked for seats available for the two movies, most of the cinemas near to my place is full for the 5pm and 7pm time slots.

In the end I was very disappointing because the night before I told Ming Chuan to help me buy the tickets first while I was in school.

Because that day is the first day of the movie release, so people must get the tickets earlier in order to get a better sitting place.

At first I intended to watch at Plaza Sing or Grand Cathay but in the end I went to City Hall instead.

Walked really quickly to Marina Square.

After reaching there, even the 9pm time slot, the position of the seats available are second row from the front.

So we walked really quickly to Sun Tec and luckily we were able to buy 'Ghost Of Girlfriends Past' 9pm time slot.

Then we had our dinner at Pepper Lunch Restaurant and the total cost is $31.30.

After that, we walked around the place, went to Carrefour to buy snacks and went in the cinema when the movie was about to start.

After that, we were lucky to catch the last train home.

As usual he escort me home and I think he walked home or took the bus after that.

Then as usual, I cleaned Ping Ping's mess, prepare my things and went for bed.

12th June Yesterday:

It was the day I had class outing.

Our class planned to go Sentosa.

I woke up estimated to be 12 plus going 1pm.

Then I packed my bag and met up with Ming Chuan then we had our lunch together.

I went to find Shu Hui at around 3 plus then I sat there waiting for the whole class to arrive.

Shockingly, I thought this was supposed to be a class outing but in the end a lot of ex students (same batch) came and went along.

If I knew I could bring along friends, I would have brought Su Yi and Shi Ting along.

Anyway after that we took the sky train there and walked to Siloso Beach.

Then we started taking pictures and playing with sand and water.

I even built a sand pyramid but I forgotten to take a picture of it.

Then this goes on for the whole day until around 8pm where we went to clean ourselves up and went back to Vivo to have our dinner.

I met up with Ming Chuan after that to watch 'Drag Me To Hell'.

The 11 pm time slot was full and we have no choice but to take the mid night show which is at 12am.

Then after buying the ticket, we went up to the roof top terrece to slack.

Then once we were up the escalator, my classmates were sitting right at the exit and Guo Hong even nearly took our picture.

Then we quickly walk to a quiet place to sit down.

I was tired so we just sat there talking and I was playing with water with my feet.

When it's time, we went to watch.

The movie wasn't that nice but the only thing I could remember about the show is Ming Chuan getting startled a lot of times.

The sound effect was scary, not the show.

It was loud and sudden.

Also, because it's GV Max so the screen is big too.

By the time the movie ends, it was around 2.30am.

I went home by cab.

I was really tired so I leaned on Ming Chuan's shoulder during the journey.

After reaching home, prepared everything, by the time I sleep it was 4am.

13th June Today:

Woke up at around 9pm because I got waken by my sister.

My mother was supposed to get her stitches removed and she wanted to have something to remember the moment so I passed her the camera and went back to sleep.

I slept till 1pm, cleaned Ping Ping's mess, watched some videos and soon it was 4pm.

I then prepared to go for dance.

Today dance was as usual, feelings are neutral.

Then after dance, ate then took cab home.

After that my sister and I cleaned the whole house.

Then after that, I keep my room neatly too and did my stuff.

Now, blogging and finished - heading for bed.

(Pictures will be posted in the next post. Will be posting tomorrow..)

3rd - 8th June

2009-06-08T20:44:00.005+08:00

3rd June Wednesday:

I really did went out with Ming Chuan that day.

We went to watch Night At The Museum 2.

Then went walking, window shopping at Plaza Singapura.

I played JuBeat.

When it's kind of late, as usual, he escort me home.

After reaching home, cleaned up Ping Ping's mess then prepare myself for bed.

4th June Thursday:

Went out with Ming Chuan again.

Watched movie too, Hannah Montanah The Movie.

This time we went to Cine Leisure, also sat at couple seat.

After that went shopping at Far East Plaza.

Halfway through, I received a phone call from my mother.

I got scolding until I nearly cry so I decide to go home.

As usual, don't need to say, he escort me home.

Then after reaching home, I cleaned Ping Ping's mess again, then prepare for bed.

5th June Friday:

We went out again and this time went to Tampines.

Then after that head to Simei, East Point, and that's when we walked passed this jewelry shop and he said he want to buy couple ring.

Then after that we went to Bugis and I went to find Shi Ting at the shop she working at.

We also went to Gift A Name and we made a 'couple' key chain together.

Mine's Ming with a girl panda below and his is Hui with a male panda below.

Then shopped Iluma then when my curfew is nearly up, I told my mother I eat dinner first before going home.

So that I can spend more time with him..

Hehe..

Anyway after dinner, as usual, he escort me home.

After reaching home, cleaned Ping Ping's mess AGAIN and prepare myself for bed.

6th June Saturday:

I went to meet him too because I thought I will not be seeing him for some time since I thought my mother is coming home next week (this week).

After that I went for dance class and after dance I went to my grandmother's house which is all the way to Sambawang.

Then after visiting my mother, we went home in my uncle's car (my mother's sister-in-law's car).

After reaching home, talked to Ming Chuan in msn then on phone till 2am then I went to bed.

7th June Sunday:

Went out with dad again because it's family day.

We went to Plaza Singapura, ate, we play arcade, then watched movie.

We watched Monster Vs Alien 3D.

The show was funny but I don't really like it because I felt that the show is kind of meaningless.

Anyway after that went home, cleaned Ping Ping's mess again then prepared my own stuff.

Then I talked on msn with Ming Chuan, until 1 part where he made me angry and I just went offline and I wouldn't answer his call.

Reason is because all he could say is that he felt I am too good for him and he is not good enough for me or something.

Also he mentioned a lot of things that made me angry because it's not his first time saying those stuff.

Anyway after that he kept calling me but I just kept rejecting his call but I did reply his sms.

After that I gave him a chance to explain, after that I went to bed.

8th June Monday, Today:

I woke up very early because I have Physics remedial.

I left house at around 8:30am, put on my ear phones and walked to school as usual.

However, today was a little different.

When I was walking pass the library, I looked at my reflection and I spot someone firmiliar following me.

I turned around and it was Ming Chuan.

I was super shocked and when I asked him how long have he been waiting, he said he waited since 5am because he was afraid that I will leave house very early and he would miss me.

So this means, he didn't sleep.

Anyway, I told him not to wait for me but in the end he waited for my lesson to finish.

Then after that I meet Su Yi at her block downstairs because we already planned that she will come my house to do art.

When she saw him she was shocked too.

After telling her what happened, she more shocked.

Anyway after that went for lunch.

The rest of the day I don't want to say.

=)

27th May - 3rd June

2009-06-02T20:20:00.006+08:00

Last week 27th May, Wednesday, I didn't do much.

Came home from school then stayed at home the whole day.

Nothing much out of the ordinary until my mother came in the house using a crutch.

I was shocked.

After asking what happened then my mother tell me she went to Eastshore hospital and the doctor told her that she broke her tendon.

Of course I was like worried for her because she really is in pain.

28th May Thursday:

The next day I went to school then rushed home immediately because she said she want to go Singapore General Hospital to check on her leg again.

Plus Eastshore Hospital is a private hospital and it will be quite expensive so she just decided to go SGH to check on her foot again.

I was afraid that my mother really went to SGH because to 'fix' this, operation is needed.

I want to help her pack her stuff because I know she won't be able to walk.

In the end by the time I reached home, she was home and she said that the doctor there told her she just sprain her foot.

What made her curious is that she remember the last time she sprain her foot she still can drive and walk but this time she totally cant move her foot.

Then she told her friend and her friend asked a professor then the professor told my mother's friend then my mother's friend tell my mother that, that definitely is a broken tendon.

29th May Friday:

So the next day my mother went back to Eastshore Hospital and the doctor told my mother that she needs to stay in the hospital because surgery is needed.

Then after school I went to visit her and I stayed there for the whole day.

My family came too.

30th May Saturday:

I have dance class but I went to the hospital in the morning to accompany my mother then I left the hospital with my sister at 3 plus.

Though my class starts at 5 but I went there early because it's to save the cab fee.

After reaching the dance studio, I played my psp until my lesson start then I went on with my lesson.

Until after the lesson end, 7 pm, after finishing our meal we went back to the hospital.

Then we accompanied my mother until a person I hate, living in the same house as me, reached then we went home by his car.

Then I we did some usual house chores that my mother always do then went to bed.

31st May Sunday:

It's family day again and we went to Suntec City for lunch as usual.

We ate fish & co that day.

After that my dad fetch my sister to some place she need to go and brought me to Far East Plaza because I saw something I really like when I was out with Shi Ting and Su Yi that day.

Then after buying, my sister did say she want to buy some shows so my dad and I went around half of Singapore looking for it.

In the end, found it at Marine Parade.

After buying, we then went to fetch my sister then my mother's friend was there and they also wanted to visit my mother.

So my mother's friends, my sister and I went to the hospital together.

Anyway after that I stayed there the whole day then went home at night.

1st June Monday:

It's O'Levels Chinese and I think I did badly.

Anyway after school I was supposed to go out with Shi Ting and Su Yi but in the end because Shi Ting didn't turn up so I only went out with Su Yi.

Then halfway through I feel very left out because Su Yi lor~!

I don't want to say..

Anyway after that I went to the hospital to visit my mother then went home.

2nd June, Yesterday:

Su Yi came my house, actually we wanted to do art but in the end we played the whole day.

After that I tell Ming Chuan I like him then he straight forward say I am his stead.

I am so freaking happy yesterday.

Even till now, I still very high, very happy~!

3rd June, Today:

I wake up at around 8 plus then meet up with Su Yi at the nearby MacDonalds.

After we have our breakfast we slowly walk to school and now I am at art room, blogging.

I might go out with him later.

>=B

NOTE: Shu Mei Jie if you got read, don't tell anyone else I got boyfriend already. I don't want mummy to worry about me.

To that passerby.

2009-05-27T14:09:00.002+08:00

TO PASSERBY:

COME LA~! NOW I PUT IN COMMENT FORM ALREADY. YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO FLOOD MY TAG BOX AND THEN REMOVE THOSE MESSAGES I WROTE THAT IS SCOLDING YOU, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE THE GUTS TO WRITE COMMENTS AND LEAVE YOUR REAL NAME. WHY? TOO CHICKEN TO SHOW WHO YOU ARE? IF U HAVE THE GUTS TO DO IT THEN U WILL HAVE THE GUTS TO ADMIT AND STATE YOUR REAL NAME. IF NO GUTS TO SHOW YOUR NAME THEN DON'T BOTHER WASTING TIME. YOU ARE WASTING YOUR OWN TIME ONLY. YOU WASTE TIME READING MY STUPID, CHILDISH AND DESPO BLOG THEN WRITE SOMETHING BAD ABOUT IT. IF IT'S SO BAD THEN DON'T EVEN BOTHER LOOKING AT IT.

I CAN REMEMBER WHAT I SAID TO YOU IN MY TAG BOX AND I SHALL SAY IT AGAIN.

IF JEFF DOESN'T WANT TO BE MY FRIEND ALL HE HAD TO DO IS TO TELL ME. ALSO, LIKE WHAT MY FRIEND NOEL SAID, THIS IS BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US. I DON'T NEED A COWARD OUTSIDER TO COMMENT ANYTHING REGARDING JEFF'S CONCERN THEN PUT HIS/HER NAME AS PASSERBY. ALSO I NEVER ASK YOU TO APPRECIATE ME SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY I AM NOT WORTH APPRECIATING. IT IS MY CHOICE WHETHER I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE AND GET APPRECIATED OR NOT. YOU DON'T NEED TO CARE. I LIVE MY LIFE THIS WAY AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STAY OUT OF IT. ALSO, IF SINCE YOU SAY MY BLOG IS CHILDISH, STUPID AND DESPO THEN DON'T EVEN READ OR COMMENT ANYTHING. IF YOU ARE READING OR COMMENTING IT, MEANS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE AS CHILDISH, STUPID AND DESPO AS YOU FOR COMPANION BECAUSE YOU YOURSELF CANNOT STAND BEING CHILDISH, STUPID AND DESPO ALONE. UNDERSTAND THIS LOSER, JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF MALE FRIENDS DOESN'T MAKE ME DESPO. IF I REALLY AM DESPO THEN I WOULD HAVE FOUND A BOYFRIEND RIGHT AFTER WEI JIE BREAK UP WITH ME 6 MONTHS AGO. IF YOU THINK I AM A GIRL WHO JUST ACT NICE AND INNOCENT AND IN FACT I AM A VERY BITCHY PERSON THEN I WILL BE WHATEVER YOU THINK I AM. I DON'T NEED YOUR 'CONCERN' TO TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I THINK IS BEST FOR ME.

YOU ONCE HAVE THE GUTS TO COMMENT MY BLOG AND MESS WITH MY TAG BOX. THEN I BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL HAVE THE GUTS TO SPAM MY BLOG AGAIN. GO AHEAD! BE MY GUEST. SERIOUSLY, TRY SPAMMING. I WILL BE WAITING. =)

1 week's post

2009-05-24T20:22:00.006+08:00

Monday 18th May 2009:

I went to BBT with Shu Hui, Xue Qi, Staphanie, Yeok Hoon and Jerolyn.

Then we ate lunch and talked awhile then I went home.

I didn't do much after reaching home, just watched some videos then fell asleep.

Tuesday 19th May 2009:

I went to school but felt really sick halfway through.

After getting our class photo taken, I get permission to go home.

After that I went to see a doctor and I was bed ridden the whole day.

Wednesday 20th May 2009:

I woke up in the afternoon then went out with Ming Chuan.

I just don't want to stay at home the whole day while I'm sick so I decide to go out.

That day was kinda a chaos at first because his pre-paid card expired and I wasn't sure is he going to turn up or not.

Luckily, he did.

I was craving for pizza and we went to Pizza Hut for dinner.

We laughed a lot and after finishing my meal, I went to the ladies and realised my face was very red.

Must be due to the fever I had the day before.

When the bill came, it's like OMG?!?!

$50 for 2 person in a pizza meal?!

Even more expensive than Manpuku, 3 person $30~!

LOL obvious..

Anyway, I didn't go home immediately.

I continued window shopped and had fun shooting words at him.

(That's kind of what I do whenever we go out >=B)

Thursday 21th May 2009:

Went to school and it's so called 'sucky' day.

It's going to be intensive MT for 1 week which will last till next Thursday or perhaps considered this Thursday.

Anyway after school, I went out with Su Yi and Shi Ting to Far East Plaza.

I met up with Su Yi first then we walked around.

I had lots of fun because we keep joking, fooling and playing around.

I even bought a new bag.

Shi Ting only met up with us at around 8 plus 9 when the shops are going to close.

We shopped together only awhile then when it's around like 10 plus we went back home.

Su Yi accompanied me to take the train home because she was afraid that the bus will be packed and people might accidentally bumped her wound.

Anyway, I escort her to the bus stop and walked home alone.

Friday 22th May 2009:

Same, MT whole day.

After school, we suddenly decide to go sing K at my house.

Then me and Shi Ting played the swing while waiting for Su Yi and we gave her the time but she was late then it was hilarious.

Anyway after that they came my house, we sang karaoke and had lots of fun then they suddenly said that they want to come over my place at Saturday night to stay overnight.

So I agreed.

Yesterday, Saturday 23th May 2009:

I woke up at around 1 plus 2.

Watched some television then went to prepare for my dance class.

As usual, I hate seeing him.

Just hate him, no feelings for him already.

I don't feel hurt anymore.

Anyway after that around 12 midnight Su Yi and Shi Ting then arrived my place.

Then we played Sponge bob Monopoly until like around 6am then we sleep.

Today, Sunday 24th May 2009:

Su Yi and I woke up like around 12 plus 1 and Shi Ting woke up at 1 plus.

We continued playing for awhile more then Shi Ting left then me and Su Yi continued.

I started off same as everyone else, in the end I got richer and richer.

Now even the bank doesn't have enough money then we have to tear strips of paper to make $1000 notes.

When I last calculate, I had estimated $16000 excluding properties which consisted of 11 Krasty Crabs and 2 Pineapples.

LOL..

We didn't have enough Krasty Crabs to put on the board so we used the game 'characters' to represent the Krasty Crab.

Anyway after that I watched some shows then went for dinner with my mother.

We had the 2 in 1 BBQ steamboat again, after finishing, here I am blogging.

I am so tired I am heading for bed early.

Well, it's not that early now either.

Family Day

2009-05-18T00:42:00.002+08:00

Today is another Sunday which also means it's family day with my dad again.

Today we went to Kuishin Bo for lunch then shopped Suntec City Mall.

My sister bought some clothes.

Also we played Silent Hill Arcade.

I really missed the days when I hang out with him and was very loving.

Past is past, it's painful but I still have to move on.

Anyway after that we went to Tampines 1 then I bought a pair of shorts and a shirt.

Also, my sister bought some stuff too.

Then we head home.

I did some facebook quiz, watched television the whole evening and of course watched Minuteman.

That show is quite nice.

Anyway after that had my 'dinner' then did whatever I was supposed to do and now I am going to bed.

Hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Am I recovering?

2009-05-17T00:23:00.005+08:00

Well, like my previous post.

I said today is Saturday AGAIN, my most hatred day of the week.

Or so I thought..

I thought I still am deeply in love with someone that doesn't even cherish me, but I think it changed.

I no longer have that kind of feelings towards him.

I think of him often, feel it's a waste when I think of the moment he dumped me.

Felt lonely, disappointed and unwanted.

However, today when I see him, I don't ache that much already.

Is it really fading slowly?

If it is I want the rate to grow, grow faster, quicker, so that I will not be in agony.

The feeling of looking at the person you love being happy is happiness but looking at the person you love is being happy with his lover, it's a painful thing.

I now understand the meaning of "because I love you that's why I am letting you go."

It's not because of bad reasons like your partner have how many flaws, but it's when you feel that your partner will be happier with another person, then you let go.

Though it hurts seeing him having a girlfriend, having fun, taking pictures together.

One very important thing, he is being very happy with her.

That's what counts..

Today just doesn't seem that bad after all..

Sudden Visit

2009-05-16T13:29:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, 15 May:

I have school but I didn't go because my guess was that not many teachers will be in school and I was right.

When I messaged Celester, she said that whole day they were slacking.

When I talked to Su Yi on msn she said that no teachers turned up except chinese.

Anyway, I actually thought of doing my art yesterday but the least I expect, Shu Hui suddenly smsed me asking me if she can come my house.

Well, if someone want to accompany me, I wouldn't mind.

She brought Hui Ling along.

After they reached, we played Spongebob Monopoly again.

This time, at first Hui Ling was the richest and I was the poorest.

In the end, Hui Ling went bankrupt, Shu Hui was the richest and I am the second one.

=D

I had fun yesterday.

I did do my art but only a little.

*SIGH*

It's another Saturday.

I hate Saturday!

DAMN!

Why did I agree on taking this Saturday class at the first place RIGHT AFTER that asshole break off with me.

Anyway, I only have to suffer for a few hours right?

*SIGH*

Outing with Ming Chuan

2009-05-15T14:19:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I went out with Ming Chuan.

I really just need a nice outing with friend or friends who cares about how I feel or something.

At least make me feel welcome, like I am needed by someone.

At first we thought of watching movie 'Horseman'.

We bought the ticket and went to have our meal.

We went to Pasta Mania and I ate Marinara or something like that.

Then after we had our meal, we realised that the movie already started 1 hour ago.

What's the point of going in to watch a movie that had already started and when we go in, we wouldn't even know what is the movie's storyline or things like that.

So we missed it.

Also, we window shopped and I suddenly found this necklace that looks like a musical note and I suddenly remember it's going to be my sister's birthday so I bought it.

Well, I don't know if she will like it or not but I think it's the thought that counts?

Then we went to Plaza Sing and I played JuBeat again.

This time I played till a level 10 song and I nearly pass, too bad I failed.

I had lots of fun yesterday.

Then after playing JuBeat, I wasn't exactly hungry but I feel like grabbing something to bite on and so we went to Mos Burger.

Then we joked while I was eating and we laughed a lot.

We sat that and chat for quite long until the shop was about to close.

Then he escort me home.

Well, as usual on the way home we always joke.

All I can say is that after yesterday, I felt much better and whatever happened the day before, just doesn't matter anymore.

Because I know I have great friends like Ming Chuan and Bryan that I think it's enough.

I don't need friends like Jeff that doesn't appreciate me at all.

13 May, Outing with Jeff.

2009-05-14T14:23:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, 13th May 2009, Wednesday:

Yesterday was the worse day of my life.

I was supposed to go out with Jeff, a one on one outing.

Since he wanted to ask Li Xiang along then fine by me.

In the end they were late by 1 hour plus, I didn't sms him to hurry him nor did I scream nor question him when I see him.

Suddenly I see, Jeff not only brought along Li Xiang but he also brought along another friend.

In the end he told me that one of his friend wanted to jump down the building because his friend's girlfriend just broke up with this friend and he went to console his friend.

I didn't say anything.

Well, reasonable so I didn't speak a word.

So we ate KFC for lunch.

I didn't get to finish my meal, they all ate so quickly and I don't want all of them to wait for me so I ate everything halfway.

I also didn't get to finish my drink and I threw it away.

Then they want to go arcade and so I followed.

Then 'prince' Li Xiang want to buy a new ear stud and so I followed.

They want to go Iluma, and so I followed.

In the end all Jeff could ask me is "hey we going to Ang Mo Kio to play lan, u want to come or u want to go home?"

Well, I don't have much objection about that and I'm a very 'anything' person so I followed.

I didn't like the idea of going some place further from my house, luckily the train had some problems and they decide to go Dhoby Ghaut.

Then they played Dota and I played Left 4 Dead.

After like maybe 1 hour plus or 2, we went off.

After reaching the MRT station, Jeff asked me am I going home alone.

I was angry and I left in a huff and I said ya then walked away without turning back.

This outing sounds like a very ordinary plain but it's not.

All the time, I was left being alone.

The least Jeff could do when he see I was feeling dull, he could have accompanied me and talk or joke with me or something.

He didn't.

All he did was continue joking with his friend and leaving me behind to rot or being alone.

For that whole day I was feeling very left out.

The following sms will explain it all.

Me: I don't ever want to go out with you again.

Jeff: Y sia

Me: Didn't you realise that I was being very quiet for the whole time?

Jeff: Thats y i ask u u wann go home 1st ma i know u very bored

Me: I wasn't bored! I was feeling down because I was being left out the whole time!

Me: what do u take me for? i hosted this outing is for everyone to have fun. i waited for u guys for 1 hour plus, then i meet u eat 1 meal accompany u guys go arcade accompany u guys go shopping and in the end all u could say is "u want to go home?" i follow majority and the least u could do is accompany me more when u see im feeling down isnt it?! i even nearly cry u know or not?! i never felt so left out before. not even by my classmates. at least they did talk to me. cant u spare a thought of how i felt?! i wasn't bored! i was feeling left out! i feel awful! just for 1 moment cant u guys spare a thought for me?! prince li xiang say what then u all listen. then what about princess crystal that is going against her own will to follow what majority says?! my tolerance level got limit ok?! the very very least u could do is at least joke or talk to me more and not just ask some questions reguarding me going home!!! u know how i feel a not?! im not angry nor mad nor pissed. IM FURIOUS! i have feelings too u know?!

Jeff: I only can say Sry because i really don know wat to talk to u sia then u ask me out then u say cannot say reject u then i no choice.. And about today 1 hour late is because today i friend really wann jump down from building i swear... I didn't mean to late 1 hour de

Me: wth?! i never say cannot reject me lor! if u have something on just now all u could do is sms! u know my friend just now decide not to come because he thought i will be having fun! so did i thought so! but i was wrong! and since u got emergency just now, the least i did was i didn't sms u to hurry or scream at u when u reach isnt it?! i spare thoughts for u. what about u?!

Jeff: Hais... Sry i didn't know sia

Me: u dont put words in my mouth! i checked the msn chat history and i never say u MUST go out with me. i asked u politely. also, dont i have the rights to voice out? i spare thoughts for u. u guys wan go what i just go with the flow. what about doing what i want? u got think about that or not?

Jeff: Wah i really dono wat to say sia...

Me: of course u duno what to say because the person who really is at fault is not me. if u think about it, didn't a spare thoughts for u guys the whole day? u know, my attitude changed a lot since u broke up with me. but still, some things that will never change. i will not tolerate being taken for granted.

In the end, he didn't reply.

I guess he really have nothing to say.

That day was like really a bad day.

I asked so many people and they all said the same thing.

Either "How can he do this to u?! I would have just walked away!" or "Why didn't you just walk away?!" or "I feel that he doesn't even treat you as a friend in the first place."

Well, what more can I do?

Only, I am never going to go out with him again.

I shall not tolerate being taken for granted.

Monday , Tuesday

2009-05-13T13:40:00.002+08:00

Monday, 11th May 2009:

I cleaned my house.

Sweep and mopped the floor of the whole house, washed my own laundry and cleaned my room.

I did a little bit of my art then give up because it's just too boring.

I even nearly go out with Ming Chuan but too bad, my mother called and decided we have a 2 in 1 BBQ steamboat dinner.

Then I have to reject Ming Chuan's outing.

*sigh*

Anyway that dinner was great, I didn't eat 2 in 1 BBQ steamboat for quite some time already.

Tuesday, 12th May 2009:

My friends came my house.

Shu Hui, Xue Qi, Jerolyn, Yeok Hoon, Staphanie and Hui Qi.

Then at first we played Sponge bob monopoly but in the end, I told them my house have K box then they decide to sing karaoke.

Then while they were singing, I was in my room using my computer.

I don't know why but I'm like the type of person who prefers peace and being with the crowd is just isn't my thing.

Like I said, I have claustrophobic.

Anyway after they left, estimated 6pm, my house was a mess but I cleaned up within like 10 minutes.

Yesterday my emotion was like neutral, not really sad nor happy.

Then the rest of the day was practically boring.

I watched television then drink soup for dinner, did facial then went to bed.

Grasshopper concert pictures

2009-05-10T02:19:00.004+08:00

It's not very clear because it's taken from my phone.

Grasshoppers' Concert

2009-05-10T01:58:00.004+08:00

Today, I did nothing much except watching show the whole day.

The day was boring until around evening 7 plus where I have to get prepared to go to Grasshopper's concert.

The show was still fine, kinda funny at times when they joke.

There is one part where they went down the stage and to the place where the audience are and they shook hands with the audience.

I was sitting quite in front and the chances of me shaking hands with them was high but because I don't feel like it, too crowded and I feel like I have claustrophobic, I decide not to get close to the crowd.

I took photos!

Anyway photos will be in the next post.

7th & 8th May

2009-05-10T01:18:00.003+08:00

On 7th May, Thursday:

Exam ended quite early so in the end Shu Hui, Jerolyn, Staphanie and I decide to go eat together.

We went to Singapore Post, intending to eat Subway at first but because it's really early and MacDonalds is having breakfast and it's counted a very 'rare' chance so we changed our minds and went to eat MacDonalds.

After finishing our meal, we sat there, chatted for a few hours.

All of a sudden they decide to come over to my place.

WOW shocking.

How did it happen I also have no idea.

HAHA!

Anyway we walked to my place.

After reaching my house, everyone was like crowding around my computer until I suggest to play board games and then Jerolyn picked SpongeBob Monopoly.

Then at first Shu Hui don't want to play but she still played anyway.

Then because Jerolyn's mother don't let her stay no matter how much she lie to her mother like staying in school asking maths teacher to tutor her for Friday's maths exam or going to the library to study with friends.

This is the fun part..

We played in a hurry, we kept hurrying each other to faster roll the dice and everything.

HAH!

In the end everything was so hilarious, we shouted and screamed when we stepped onto each other's houses and have to pay high prices.

They left at about 3pm or maybe 4pm?

I forgotten about the time.

Anyway after they left, I continue to watch show and watched all the way until night where I fell asleep.

Oh dear...

I didn't study for maths exam..

8th May, Friday:

It's maths exam and I was really exhausted.

Anyway it's a 2 hours and 30 minutes paper and I thought with my brain not working so quickly I will be able to at least complete the paper but I was wrong.

In the end I think I didn't do like 3-5 questions.

After the maths paper then there is the science 1 paper.

That paper was like 1 hour but I finished it within 30 minutes and I took the rest of the time sleeping.

After the exam, I went with Su Yi to the playground near our school and we played swing while we talked.

She told me about some stuff and I told her some of mine.

Well, I found out a lot of things..

Hah anyway after that I went out with Ming Chuan.

I meet him a little late because I chatted with Su Yi until quite late and I was very tired so my movements was like snail on the move.

Also, Ming Chuan asked Jeffrey along and we went to Plaza Singapura.

After that Jeffrey went off with his friend so it's me and Ming Chuan only.

Then I decided to go arcade and play JuBeat.

I admit, I am like kind of addicted to it already and if you want to play that game, playing it at Plaza Singapura is better than playing at Bugis because Bugis is too crowded.

Played for quite a few rounds then went for dinner at Yoshinoya.

The funniest thing that happened was after buying our food and sitting down, we did the same thing, literally.

We put the food and everything into place including the cutlery then tear open the paper from the chop stick and rub the two chop sticks together to make the excess shreds of wood off the chop sticks.

We really did the same thing at the same time!

Then he laughed.

After finishing our food, we sat there and chat for quite long.

Then after meal, back to arcade and I played till 10 plus again.

After that as usual he escort me home.

2 and half weeks' post.

2009-05-07T00:02:00.005+08:00

Wow time flies!

Anyway last Sunday I did go out with my dad and we watched X-man Origins Wolverine.

The movie is nice, I like the story line.

After that went shopping and I bought a few stuff including my mother's Mothers' Day present.

Anyway after reaching home I started to work on the Album and used paper to do it like sort of a scrapbook with decorations.

On Monday I went out with Jeffrey and Ming Chuan to parkway.

I actually wanted to develop photos for the scrap book but I am so careless that I forgotten to add the folder into my phone so in the end I didn't get to develop any photos.

After that we went to Tampines 1 because I never go there before.

Then we walked aimlessly then I walked into More Than Words.

I saw this really cute and convenient umbrella and I thought of me forgetting where I left my 2 umbrellas so I actually decide to buy it.

In the end Ming Chuan was too fast and before I can stop him he buy it already.

OMG LA!

I was pissed!

Anyway after that we went to Manpuku for dinner and I saw this area that gives me a special kind of feeling.

Well, it's actually the Sakura 'Trees' but too bad the place I was sitting, the Sakura was blocked by bamboo decorations so I didn't get a good view of it.

Anyway after that Jeffrey went home first.

After finishing my food and everything, Ming Chuan as usual walk me home.

The next day I went to Tampines 1 again but this time is with Su Yi and Shi Ting.

The reason is I need to develop my photos and also the both of them is meeting their friend there as well so while waiting for the photo to develop we walked around the mall and window shopped.

After taking my photos, we took a bus to Bugis.

It was an awfully long ride and I didn't like it, I still prefer taking the train.

Anyway after reaching Bugis, we shopped Bugis Street.

It was packed as usual and we walked for quite long until Shi Ting said her feet is killing her and she want to go home to change to another shoe then meet us again.

So after that me and Su Yi went to the arcade and I played JuBeat.

Wow!

I am getting good at that game.

At first the maximum level I can play is level 4 but now my maximum level is level 7.

After that we stayed at Bugis until 10pm because I'm beat so we went home.

In the end Shi Ting didn't show up.

Then today, after exams I went to eat with Staphanie, Xue Qi, Jerolyn and Yeok Hoon.

Then after that I went home, did a little things and I was shocked when I see QQ's eye!

One of his eye ball fall out and his eyes can't close.

In the end he is sent to the vet and his left eye was removed and stiched up so now he is an one eye dog.

Anyway after that I went to meet Ming Chuan at around 5pm.

We went to Tampines 1 again because the photos I developed isn't enough to fill the scrapbook.

Then while waiting for the photos to develop finish, we walked from the basement 1 to the highest storey then back down again for like 2 or 3 times.

Then finally 30 freaking minutes passed and the photo is done.

Then after that we went to Plaza Singapura and ate Ajisan for dinner.

He always treats me so this time I was faster than him.

My treat, FINALLY.

=)

After eating we went to the arcade and I played JuBeat again.

This time I bought an e-AMUSEMENT PASS because every time I play JuBeat then keep having the tutorial thing is very annoying.

Also I keep playing it but yet I don't get to play any other new songs so I decided to buy it for the sake of my hapiness.

LOL.

Anyway after playing finish, it's like around 10pm already, also the arcade is closing.

As usual Ming Chuan escort me home, we joked along the way, blah blah blah..

By the time I reached home is around 10:30pm.

I prepared my things and everything.

Did some facebook quizes for fun.

Then now, here I am blogging.

Anyway I am really tired, I'm going to sleep.

End.

=)

25-19april

2009-04-30T00:02:00.004+08:00

I watched 17 Again on 25th April but this time I watched it with my sister and dad.

I didn't want to watch it again because to me I feel that watching a movie twice is kind of a waste of money but I think that maybe, just maybe this movie is worth it.

Also, another reason why I watched it again is because there were no other suitable time slots for other movies and also my sister want to watch it after I told her that it is a nice movie.

So, yes.

I watched it again.

=.=ll

Anyway, the whole weekdays is the same old same old so far.

I did nothing special in particular.

After school go home, study.

Except today I decided to walk to school to and from school for daily exercise.

Anyway after school I actually only asked Celester and Jerolyn if they want to eat MacDonalds on our way home since we live so near but what I least expect is that Jerolyn asked Xue Qi and Staphanie to come along.

It made me feel really guilty and bad because:

First, they live quite far and they come all the way here just to eat one meal then go home.

Second, I felt bad for only thinking that they might just want to go home to study since tomorrow is exam and leaving them out.

Third, the MacDonalds here have very little seats that can occupy 5 or 6 people and we have problem sitting together.

*sigh*

Anyway past has passed, let it go..

Today I studied Social Studies for the whole day.

After finishing blogging, back to studying because tomorrow is the first day of Mid-Year Examination.

I'm so stress up!

EXAM ARGH!

5 days posts.

2009-04-25T01:17:00.002+08:00

This whole week, I always go with my classmates, Celester, Shu Hui, Jerolyn, Xue Qi, Staphanie and Yeok Hoon to BBT for lunch before going home.

By the time I reached home it's always estimated 4-6pm already.

Then I do my homework and play maple after that.

Then after that before sleeping I will always continue reading Birthing House.

It's a very interesting ghost story anyway.

The story isn't draggy at all but it always skip from one scene to another so quickly that I couldn't understand what really happened.

Still it's a nice book to read. (there is a lot of vulgarities)

LOL!

pictures

2009-04-20T00:33:00.005+08:00

17 Again movie ticket..

Rose Bracelet..

Pizza: Seafood

Total Price: $30

Movie Sunday.

2009-04-20T00:23:00.003+08:00

Today I didn't go out with my dad because my sister have something on and decided not to go out with my dad today.

Anyway, I went out with Ming Chuan today for movies.

Before that, we went to Ajisan for lunch.

After that, we watched 17 Again at Grand Cathay.

It's is a very nice movie where it's telling you if you have a second chance will you change your future or will you regret changing your past and wanting to go back to present.

For me, I will pick to move on.

I know there is a lot of things in life that is bad but if you look at the bright side of it, you are actually learning a whole lot of things from it.

What actually I learnt most meaningful is that I had learn my mistakes and I change myself for the better.

I also learnt that you have to face your problems and you have to cherish whoever that is around you.

Do not regret after you lose that person.

Anyway after the movies, we went back to Plaza Singapura to buy for Celest's birthday present.

I will not post the picture of her present first, I will post it on Tuesday night after the present is with her.

Also, I played JuBeat, FINALLY~!

Then we walked from Plaza Sing to Far East Plaza.

I saw this really pretty rose bracelet.

I really like it very much and I need to take it into consideration because of the price.

In the end, I bought it.

Well, literally I didn't buy it.

Ming Chuan bought it for me..

Anyway after that it was about 8 plus then I decided to go for Pizza and so we went to Suntec Pizza Hut.

My hands were quick this time and I paid for the meal, if not he is the one always paying for me.

I feel very guilty..

Anyway that's about all.

-Pictures will be in next post as usual..

Strange Dream..

2009-04-19T10:23:00.004+08:00

Recently, for almost the whole week already, I have been having the same dream over and over again.

I keep dreaming of this cute and handsome guy, he gave me the feeling of being loved again and it felt so real.

How can I even dream of something that felt so real yet I don't even know who is that person.

So near.. Yet so far..

This dream keeps making my head spin.

It arouse the feeling, my feeling, of being loved and loving someone back.

However in reality, the fact is that I feel that I can no longer love anyone, for I don't even love myself.

The fact that I have become a cold blooded person.

Devoid of emotion, being very impassive.

Though this is the fact that is happening, I still believed that someday my true love will come.

Also yesterday one of my friend let me read this 'story' of love.

They used wallets to describe relationships.

Also I myself find it very true and meaningful.

Letting Go

My old Hum II professor used to tell us that wallets are a lot like girls, “You really have to take good care of, because if you won’t, something might happen”…

I know what he means. I just lost a wallet, and I just lost a girl. You know, it’s the exact same thing.

One day, you just realize it’s gone. You try to look for it everywhere, even going back to the places where you could have lost it.

You think, and you think hard, only to come upon a grim realization: it’s really gone.

Of course, you can hold on to some hope. After all, there have been some very, very lucky (blessed?) people who get it back.

Perhaps you could become one of those people. You sit home and you hope that someone would call, and that you would get it back.

But then, some time passes, and you realize that it’s still gone, and you realize that it’s time to let go.

The first few days, you turn to your friends for support.

Some tell you you’ll be fine, some tell you that it was your fault and that you should have been more careful, and some tell you about their own experiences.

They give you all sorts of advice, none you haven’t heard before.

You then go out to find a new wallet, only to realize that you don’t really want a new one.

You want the old one that you lost.

No, you don’t want all these better-looking wallets, you want yours, because of how comfortable it is, because of all the cards and pictures and other stuff in it.

You go out and carry on without a wallet, keeping your money in your pocket instead. You throw away stuff that you would have held on to if you had your old wallet. And then, finally, you find a new wallet you like and settle in.

You then start filling your new wallet, little by little. It still doesn't feel as comfortable as the old one, but it’s getting there.

Then you start putting in cards and pictures and other important stuff in the wallet. Soon enough, there’s as much stuff in your new wallet as the old one. And then, after some time, you feel as comfortable with your new wallet.

And then you realize that you've almost forgotten you ever had your old wallet. Sure, you still remember most of the stuff you lost on that wallet. But then again, you don’t remember the feeling of hurt that you felt when you lost it.

That’s because that wallet you lost is no longer your wallet. You’re no longer holding on. This new wallet you’re holding, it has all the important cards and pictures and stuff that you need. This is your wallet.

And this time, you tell yourself, you’re never losing this one.

The End

Bleeding Foot

2009-04-19T01:10:00.002+08:00

The picture below is taken AFTER the blood stopped bleeding..

All I can feel now is the needle feeling that is piercing on my flesh..

Speech Day

2009-04-18T22:16:00.003+08:00

This morning was speech day and guess what?

Such a big day, I had totally forgotten about it.

I have to be school by around 7:15am but I only reached school at 8:15am.

Reason is, Ryan called me at around 7:50am then I rushed and made it in school by 8:15am.

After that I got scolding from Miss Lai.

She forever is so unreasonable.

Anyway after that Mrs Lim then thought of one punishment for those who were late, which is go for 2 more band practice to teach the juniors.

The reason why I was pissed because if they want me to go for 2 more band practice then say so, don't waste my time waiting in the melody room.

Anyway after everything finished and reached home, I prepared my stuff and went to sleep.

I woke up at around 5:30pm then realised I'm late for dance class.

I then called my dance teacher telling her I'm not going because I really am very tired.

Never been so tired before, it just felt like as though I didn't sleep for like a week.

Haha!

Too exaggerated.

Then I sleep all the way until 7 plus.

Then I turned on Restaurant City and chatted with friends.

During that period of time I tried on my Gothic Lolita clothes, read Birthing House and downloaded some songs.

Soon it was about 10 plus and my mother came home.

I ate a little and played Restaurant City, blogged, talk on the phone and chatting in msn.

That's all for today.

Oh I almost forget..

I itchy hand then I went to peel the skin on my toe and in the end my toe wouldn't stop bleeding.

Now I have problem walking..

Boring..

2009-04-18T00:46:00.003+08:00

Today in school is another boring day.

Today passed really quickly and after school I went out with Staphanie, Jerolyn, Xue Qi and Yeok Hoon to Bugis.

They can't stay for too long and so I meet up with Ming Chuan at around 5pm.

After that around 7:45pm leave Bugis to go to my dance class.

Then after that 10pm finish class waited for my mother to fetch me home but end up because my cousin is in the car and they have to fetch her home first.

So we from Lavenda go all the way to Yishun then bought Chong Pang Nasi Lemak for supper.

Now I had finish supper and I am very tired.

I'm heading for bed now.

=)

pictures

2009-04-17T00:30:00.003+08:00

This art piece was drawn last week.

These two was drawn just now.

Easter egg!

Happy Easter!

LOL!

Easter is long over.

HAHA!

15 & 16 april

2009-04-17T00:23:00.003+08:00

These few days, I let go of everything and now I became really happy.

These few days didn't do much.

Yesterday got band, same for today.

Yesterday went to BBT for lunch and was late for band but me and Xue Qi never get scolding.

Also, yesterday and today, by the time I reach home I was so tired and don't feel like doing anything.

Yesterday I didn't do much meaningful things because I played Restaurant City the whole day.

At night before I sleep I continued reading Birthing house.

It's a ghost-story book by the way.

Today I slacked a lot after coming home but in the end I still complete drawing and colouring two roses for my art.

I am so happy about one thing is that my art got displayed outside the school hall.

Though it's all the way to the left that corner but at least better than nothing.

Also my mother's friend gave me an Easter present, an Easter egg.

-Pictures will be in the next post.

hole puncher pic.

2009-04-14T21:12:00.002+08:00

I forgotten to put the picture of the hole puncher in the previous post..

Clouds clearing?

2009-04-14T20:36:00.003+08:00

Today I thought it will be another boring day but I was wrong.

The first half of the day was nothing really great but until until almost the end of assembly period, there is public canning.

Also today have Chinese common test 2, I fell asleep and Miss Ngor threaten me if I fall asleep again she is going to use the whiteboard duster to throw at me.

Then I don't dare to sleep back.

During biology for no reason why I suddenly got very high then started to joke a lot then mess with the seeds we are supposed to do experiments with.

I pull out the lens from the magnifying glass and I start my nonsense already.

We are actually supposed to count the number of seeds by their length.

After counting like a few, because I suddenly high and do funny things to the seed.

I 'CUT' the seed.

LOL!

Then for some reasons after biology Celester also become like very high then we keep joking during maths lesson then never listen much.

Even if we listened I don't think we will understand what Mr Rizuan said.

After school I went to BBT with Celest, Jeroyln, Xue Qi, Staphanie and Yeok Hoon.

On the way there all I can remember is Jerolyn being a mad girl and do some very big actions.

So funny.

Then I purposely buy green colour hole puncher, I couldn't deny, that green is very nice.

Then after reached home, played Restaurant City, chat with friends and some small things that I can't rememebr.

Then Jerolyn ask me help her with her blog skin, I got coned.

=X

I thought there was something wrong with the code but end up is because Jerolyn put the font in black in the posts and she wanted grey text.

In the end after like quite some time, I then realised that actually her fonts are black because she set it like that in the posts.

=.=ll

Waste my time..

=X

Learnt Value..

2009-04-14T00:10:00.004+08:00

I almost forget something really important..

I learn something from a movie today, except I'm changed a little of it.

Life Is Like A Block Of Wood, Plain, Boring, Square And Down To Earth. However If You Believe In It, In Yourself, You Actually Can Achieve Something Magical, Unexpected and Unimaginable.

Another Monday..

2009-04-13T23:23:00.003+08:00

Today is another Monday.

The first half of the day I was really sleepy and wasn't in the right mood to talk.

Anyway after eating during recess, I got a little energy to talk and so I started joking around.

Today passed really quickly and when I was walking home, I saw this dead rat.

Its stomach was split open vertically and all that's left is it's skin, face, legs and tail.

At first I thought it was a dead giant lizard or something because it was long.

When I came closer to it, I realized it's a dead rat.

To the main point, I am often wondering when can I leave?

You, readers, might just think of "What the bloody hell are u talking about?".

What I mean when I leave is leave this world for good, I don't want to stay here any longer.

At least leave this school first.

I am so tired of everything.

Tired of my life, tired of the shit people give me, tired of all the nonsense and un-necessities.

3rd post - Sunday (Today)

2009-04-13T01:54:00.003+08:00

Today, went out with dad at around 1pm.

Went to Sun Tec to eat the fancy restaurant I went to last week.

Today's dishes wasn't as nice as last week.

I regretted one thing is I didn't take pictures of the dishes last week but I took them this week.

Also this week I ordered something different from last week.

The prawns was really delicious!

Then after that we went for a movie, 'The Fast & The Furious 4'.

I only like those cars and the way they drive and the movie was average, not that nice.

Then after that went to buy a lot of VCD and DVD to watch at home when anyone of us is bored.

Then I have been playing Restaurant City ever since.

Bryan gave me a goodnight call and now it's time for me to sleep.

2nd post - Saturday dance..

2009-04-13T01:39:00.002+08:00

I woke up quite early on Saturday morning, 9 plus.

I didn't go out in the afternoon because I stayed home to play Restaurant City.

Time passed really fast and it was time to go dance.

I actually have 2 class but because tomorrow is Denise's birthday we celebrated it yesterday.

We played games and stuff.

After that as usual after lesson finish which is like 7pm, then from 7pm to 9pm is like rest or alone time because 9pm there is practice hour.

Anyway that 2 hours was very long and painful because I have to look at him do all the funny shits that he always do.

Of course one thing for sure, I am alone again.

All I really did was stare at blank space and time passed really slowly.

Then after dance, went home play Restaurant City again.

Haha!

I really am addicted to it.

Also slept quite late.

1st post - Good Friday

2009-04-13T01:33:00.003+08:00

Last Friday was Good Friday, it was a public holiday and that means I don't have dance class.

I went to Bryan's house that day and he introduced me this facebook game called Restaurant City.

In the end now I am kind of addicted.

ZZZ!

Bryan downloaded Confessions Of A Shopaholic but in the end because the sound was so bad that the image was like 1 minute early and I just couldn't catch on any more because there isn't any sub titles so I didn't really watch it.

That day passed really fast because of Restaurant City and I only went home at around 11 or 12 pm slash am.

My mother wasn't happy about it but I didn't bother.

I prepared my own things and went to play Restaurant City again.

I only slept at 3am.

Relaxing and tired day..

2009-04-10T15:34:00.006+08:00

I went to East Coast with Ming Chuan yesterday after school and cycled whole day.

After reaching parkway, it started to rain not long after.

We, well technically me, ate lunch and we went to the arcade to spend some time while waiting for the rain to stop.

After the rian stopped, we joked on the way to East Coast.

After crossing the tunnel he then asked me if I know how to get out of there and I said "I'm not very sure of this place. I nearly got lost last time. East Coast's exits looks all the same to me."

Then he said "haha! Then two people who doesn't know how to get out of East Coast, come to East Coast together. If we get lost, remember to buy newspaper. Headline 'Two idiots got lost at East Coast'."

Anyway, we cycled from one end to another end.

I was wondering why Shi Ting said that there is a very beautiful view at one end.

I was curious so we cycled the whole of east coast park and I saw this.

I am not sure whether is she talking about the path and view of the place but I certainly like this part.

The air that I inhaled in never felt so fresh before and the sky was beautiful.

When the sky was dark I could clearly see the stars and it was amazing.

Sad to say I couldn't take picture of the night sky because my phone's camera is bad and even when I took the night sky it will just be pitch black.

So I didn't take it but that beautiful scene will always remain in my heart.

The beauty of the stars, always shining above all.

Nobody sees it because the city is forever so bright and the beaming lights from the city overcomed the glistening light that is coming from the stars.

Though we do not see it, it doesn't mean it isn't there.

It's just like some important things in life.

When you don't see something, it doesn't mean it isn't there.

Anyway, after cycling for hours I was tired and my butt really hurts.

We decided to go for Pizza for dinner and while walking, I saw this really cute puppy.

There is like only 2 words to describe this little white puppy.

'Freaking Adorable!'

After that we went back to parkway but realised that parkway didn't have Pizza Hut then decided to go Suntec for it but it was late and we were afraid that they are closing down so we decided to go to Singapore Post for Long John Silver.

At Long John Silver, I saw Farah, my secondary two very good friend.

She didn't change a bit, except growing taller and looking prettier.

She is still as happy-go-lucky and happy as usual.

I then remembered the times I had with her, Pek Lian and Shahidah.

Always laughing and doing nonsense in class.

Making fun of Nigel, Choon Tat, Robin and Desmond.

After that I asked her for her number and after finishing my meal I went off.

I went home, did facial watched television for awhile, talked to Anthony on msn and went to sleep.

I had great fun yesterday.

Though some problems happened, I know one thing for sure.

'Never let fear overcome you, keeping you from playing the game'..

Lesson Learnt.

2009-04-09T14:38:00.002+08:00

The previous post I mentioned I learn something.

I learnt that the problems I am facing now is actually very minor ones and there are more unfortunate people comparing to me.

Mr Ho showed about this video where this guy he was born to have a sickness that caused him to be a disabled.

He couldn't walk nor talk but his father never gave him up.

They invented a machine for him to communicate with people.

It's like when he think of something the computer helps him to speak.

This guy graduated from high school and also from Collage and currently studying at a University.

I thought to myself, this guy's life is far more worse than mine.

What is my small little friendship problem comparing to his problem of disability.

I also learnt that you can achieve too even without the help of friends.

I am going to learn to be independent.

Though being the only one in class not being able to communicate well with classmates or friends from other levels, but I know one thing for sure is I learn.

I learn my mistakes whenever something bad happens or there is some misunderstanding.

Just because something said by someone was manipulated doesn't mean it's totally true.

I know out there, there will be people hating me like now.

Just because I am a new person to join in, doesn't mean they will accept me.

What I cannot understand is, why others backstabbing me all I did was keep quiet.

When I say something, it's like as though it's a really big matter and the sky has fallen.

Also, gossipping and backstabbing is two totally different things.

Gossipping is whereby it had happened before and people just talked about it while backstabbing is saying something that is untrue and totally off.

There are others out there talking bad about me and when I talked bad about something, 'oh the sky has fallen~!'.

ZZZ!

Anyway my life is just very unfair.

The things I do, people just takes me for grunted.

I guess I just have to ignore everything and move along~

I don't want to say more.

-Bottling everything up from now..

Messy week.

2009-04-09T00:19:00.002+08:00

This week is a really messy week.

I will not blog about what happened in school today because I'm too tired to even talk about it.

Anyway after finish school I went home to watch my favorite movie; Twilight.

After that I took a nice long hot comfy shower and I have been doing my art since.

Then after that now I'm going to sleep.

I also learnt a lot of things today - will blog about it next time.

Another Bad Day.

2009-04-06T23:10:00.003+08:00

I thought that my nightmares will be better someday but I guess that it just goes worse.

Can you ever imagine then in a class, with no friends at all and all you can count on is yourself.

I am pissed, yes.

What I couldn't understand is I changed my attitude.

I made my tolerance level higher, I treat people better.

When I'm sad or angry I just vent it on myself.

I kept everything in for the past two and a quarter year and I had enough.

Is it even a sin for me to like vent it out?!

It takes time for people to change and I know I changed for the better.

Still people is treating me as shit as ever, no.

Worse than shit!

What had I done wrong?!

Why when I ask nobody tell me?!

I think I really should isolate myself.

Then I will not have this type of problem!

I am so angry at myself for caring so much about others and not myself!

People keep telling me that they are not worth it.

Just that I am so stupid I couldn't ignore something that is in front of me.

I couldn't understand is why they too have attitude problem but they can forgive each other.

For my case, it just seemed like every single fucking thing is my fault and I am the cause of it.

From now on, I am only going to concentrate on people who treasures me.

I know people who truly treats me as friend is Bryan my SFF, Ming Chuan, Noel, Anthony and Ka Khay.

Also, Su Yi, Shi Ting, Pei Ling and Celester - but not totally sure about them because I just get close to them recently.

It just seemed to me that I can be myself in front of them without them hating me once.

I really admit I have a bad attitude but I am the type of person whereby you treat me nice I will treat u nice too.

Today, rough day.

No mood to do anything else but to relax.

Pics Of Lamborghini

2009-04-06T22:56:00.004+08:00

Though these aren't exact but I saw 3 different colours.

Red, Yellow and White/Silver (I couldn't remember clearly which was it)

Lamborghini(s)

2009-04-06T21:38:00.002+08:00

I forgotten about 1 important part about yesterday.

While on my way home in my dad's car, about seven to eight Lamborghini passed us.

The motor of the car is like amazingly nice.

Looking at the price of Lamborghini, it's like as though you are driving a condo on the street.

One of those cars costs like estimated above one million dollars.

Also, the pictures I am going to post is not the Lamborghini I saw on the street.

picture

2009-04-05T19:15:00.003+08:00

PANDA!

Hee!

My favorite animal~!

Delicious meal up to now.

2009-04-05T18:30:00.002+08:00

Today is Sunday and it's family day with my dad again.

As usual we went to Sun Tec but because I wasn't hungry so we decided to catch a movie.

I watched Unborn and it was quite interesting.

It wasn't scary but just that the storyline is new to me so it's kind of 'counted' as interesting.

After reaching home, it's a disaster!

QQ and Belie prison break, no no, balcony break into the house.

They broke a lot of expensive vases and tear my Ping Ping's toy puppy now the whole front of the face is ruined.

Ping Ping of course is terrified.

Once I unlock the door she barked for help, poor thing.

I wonder did she get raped by the two male dogs.

=X

Anyway I cleaned the mess up and pick their poop up - eeew!

I am so tired now, no mood to do any art.

Also I bought a bag just now.

To me I think it's cute but I'm a little scared that people might say my bag looks childish.

Picture of it will be posted in the next post.

Belgien Chotolate.. (Hearts)

2009-04-05T01:50:00.003+08:00

The chocolate Ming Chuan bought for me..

Thoughtful..

I am glad I have a friend like him.

=')

April 5th..

2009-04-05T01:36:00.002+08:00

Today is also another ordinary day.

Oh and about the Nasal Cancer thing I still couldn't confirm if I really have it or not but I am just suspecting.

Even currently I am suspecting of myself having cancer, I hope I have it.

So that I can quickly end this suffering I am having.

Anyway today I kept and cleaned my room thoroughly because Shi Ting and Su Yi is supposed to come to my house for sleepover but they have something on.

They only told me that they not coming only at estimated 7:30pm.

GRRRR!

I kept my room in a hurry so that I have enough time to meet up with Ming Chuan because I need to go to Sun Tec to buy something.

In the end I tire myself badly and I only meet him at 3:30pm and I still have dance class at 5pm so I have to like leave Sun Tec around 4:30pm.

As usual, Ming Chuan escort me all the way until my dance studio.

One thing that stunned me was he bought me chocolate, the big box of Belgian chocolate that I told him I preferred.

Anyway, today's dance is as usual - I felt emotionless when I dance with him - the asshole.

Why should I even care?

He is not my friend anymore so why should I even bother?

Anyway that's about it, about today.

It's just as boring as ever.

This is my life - BORING~!

Though uh..

I am actually sad deep down but I guess people don't really care so..

Uh..

Ya..

Art.

2009-04-04T02:33:00.004+08:00

These are the most recent art pictures I drew.

Friday.. (Today)

2009-04-04T02:16:00.010+08:00

I didn't go to school today because I was sick.

Sick as in not fever, cough not cold sick..

Nor is it emotional sick.

I am suspecting I am having cancer.

Recently I have been having headaches and it hurts really badly and even eating panadol doesn't help.

Including the often symtoms of nose bleeding, I suspect I have nose cancer.

I know it sounds funny but there is really such things.

Causes of Nose Cancer or Nasal Cancer

The exact cause of nose cancer is unknown but many risk factors are said to be associated with the development of the nose cancer. Some of them are the exposure to certain chemicals and metals, personal history of developing other cancer, and some environmental factors. The metals include nickel and chromium and chemicals used in manufacturing.

Symptoms of Nose Cancer

The symptoms of nose cancer or nasal cancer are nonspecific. This is because the early symptoms shown by this disease are very much similar to less serious nasal problems like the swelling of sinuses, frequent headaches, accompanied by other chronic infections and also blurred vision. The main symptoms of nose cancer or the nasal cancer are a blockage or congestion in the nose. This nasal congestion is often followed by the nose bleeds or a lump in the neck.

There you have, descriptions of Nasal Cancer...

I couldn't believe it too but I had went to see a doctor..

*sigh*

I have:

-swelling of sinuses

-frequent headaches

-blurred vision (sometimes)

-blockage or congestion in the nose

-frequent nose bleeds

Finally I am dying...

Wei Jie will be so happy that I am dissapearing from this world soon.

One thing for sure I know was, my grandmother (father's mother) and grandfather (mother's father) died from cancer.

Also, my uncle and mother got cancer before, so chances of me getting it is high.

I wish it could hurry just end my life already.

Invisible..

2009-04-04T02:14:00.004+08:00

I am so fucking invisible, I know a lot of people wish I could just die. I wish I could just disappear forever. I am always feeling not wanted, always being used, being thrown away. Does anyone actually care how I really feel deep down?!

I guess not.

Thursday and Friday (today) on next post

2009-04-04T01:43:00.004+08:00

On Thursday, it is another ordinary day until something happened during art lesson.

One of my classmates was complementing on this picture she found and she kept on saying something like "This fish nice hor?" "This fish very beautiful leh!"

For self entertainment, as usual I exaggerate my actions and words.

I deliberately said "WAH!! SOOO PRETTY-FUL!"

Then I got rudely cut off by someone saying something like "Ni Hen Kua Zhang Leh!!"

I admit, I was pissed!

It's because I did it deliberately, I don't need someone else to help me magnify this lame thing.

Fuck!!!!!

Of course it's exaggerating!

I had enough!

I don't need you people to magnify for me what I did on purpose!

It's not the fucking first time already!

If I ask all of you right at your face asking you, "If I don't exaggerate my words and actions, will you even treat me as a friend and mix around with me? Will you guys even notice my existence?! Or will you guys will just treat me as transparent as ever? Just give me a fucking answer now and I will fucking leave you guys alone if you guys don't want to be my friend!"

If not, I will just try shutting up for the whole week, I bet nobody will ask why because I am invisible!

Nobody in class really give a damn about me, in fact if I just disappear everyone will celebrate!

Damn it damn it!!

ARGH!!!!!!

April Fools Day.

2009-04-01T22:28:00.002+08:00

Today is a special day and it only happens once a year, April Fools Day.

Early in the morning when I come to school, I already hear people saying things like "Happy April Fools Day!" or "ha ha! April Fools!".

I tried to keep my defence up just in case someone play prank on me.

Though Wednesday have a shorter school hour, I still felt that the day passed really slow.

During Chinese lesson I even nearly fall asleep.

I skipped band today and went to Bryan's condo to play basketball.

Before that, we watched C.S.I New York and by the time we went down was around 6pm.

After that we played a friendly match, I wasn't help at all because there is 6 people in total and I'm the only girl.

Also, I don't really know how to play basketball and I was very afraid of people banging onto me.

We played till around 8pm and went for dinner at Serangoon Garden with Bryan and Louis.

Though the food there is nice but I don't like it because the place have a short ceiling and it was very stuffy and hot.

We ordered 2 Stingrays - one spicy one non spicy (because Bryan doesn't know how to eat spicy), Baby Clams with chili, Chicken Wings, Satay and I ordered Chickenchop.

Also drinks and desserts too.

I was quite full and I had forgotten a very important thing, which is I am trying to go on a diet yet I still eat so much.

After that here I am, blogging.

First half of the day felt very long but after school ends, the time passed really fast.

I had fun today and I hope I can have fun every single day.

I have to stop here because I have a Geography test to study for.

-Currently still waiting for Twilight SAGA official guidebook to arrive in Singapore, trying to find more time to do my art and I really need to learn how to manage time and my weight already.

*Time is really very precious, cherish it, manage it and you will not feel that you are wasting your life by doing nothing.

Picture

2009-04-01T01:22:00.001+08:00

Picture of the mouse pad I bought at Bugis ; Gift A Name

SYF 2009

2009-03-31T23:19:00.004+08:00

Today is band SYF 2009, I wasn't nervous at all because this is my third time attending SYF.

I didn't have lesson today and I felt that the time passed really quickly when I am not attending lessons.

I still couldn't play accent on certain notes but I tried my best.

At the end of performance, quite a number of people asked what do I think we will get and my first answer was bronze.

It's not that I'm trying to bring them down by not thinking of silver but from the way they played - the number of mistakes and going out of tune, I think chances of getting silver is already almost impossible.

Also, I think they ask me that question maybe is because this is my third time attending SYF.

The results was out and we really get a bronze, I didn't guess wrongly.

Anyway after SYF I went out with Ming Chuan.

I went to Bugis first to get my 'missing' colour pencil but the shop owner said that that colour pencil set was really out of stock and he couldn't change a new one for me until a new box come.

After that we walked to Suntec and I bought FBT shorts because I am going to play basketball at Bryan's house and it will be quite a number of times - for the sake of slimming down and growing tall.

After that went window shopping, I suddenly thought of I didn't have my lunch and I wanted to have my dinner.

We went down to B1 where all the food is and suddenly there is this old lady who called out to Ming Chuan for help.

He was curious and so kind hearted he went to help.

The old lady said something like "Escort me to the taxi stand, I'm not coming here tomorrow"

Ming Chuan was curious and he was too kind hearted that he didn't dare to let go of the lady and still asked her "why?" but she didn't reply him.

The old lady grabbed his arm tightly.

She walked really slow and I thought of walking in front is a little weird because I couldn't see where are they going and so I stopped and walked behind them.

Strange thing is, the taxi stand is at the first floor, up the stairs and escalator.

I knew something was not right.

After walking for like quite a distance, a man tapped my shoulder and told me "hey, please don't go near this old lady. She is crazy, she comes here everyday and asks people to escort her to taxi stand but actually she will just keep walking round and round the basement."

I replied "but my friend is like a victim now! What should I do?!" and he said "grab your friend and run" then he walked away.

The distance between me and Ming Chuan was quite far already and I think telling him that the lady is crazy to his face is dangerous because I don't know what the old lady will do to him or me so I called him.

I told him that the old lady is crazy and tell him to just leave her there and he said something like "but I couldn't just leave her" and I asked "Is she grabbing you really tight?" and he said "Ya."

I stood there, stunned, thinking of ways to 'rescue' him out of the awkward situation.

After awhile, from far, I saw him telling the old lady something and he was somewhat pissed.

I saw the old lady stopped walking immediately after he made her let go of him.

I could tell that he wasn't happy and I asked him how he get rid of the old lady and he said something like "I realised that she will be walking round and round without stopping so I just tell her that I have something important to do and I have to go. Then I just walk away."

He was really pissed and I told him that no point of him being angry with her because she is mentally ill and she might not know what is she doing - including she doesn't even know she offended people.

I didn't know what to say to him and how to comfort him because I was lost for words and he walked really fast.

Slowly, I was influenced and affected by his mood - I too was moody already at that point.

After that we went to City Hall MRT and took a stop back to Bugis.

Then had dinner, this time he was too fast and I didn't have the chance to pay my own food.

After that I saw this really cute mouse pad and I really want it so I decided to buy it, though it's a little too expensive.

-Picture of the mouse pad will be in next post.

He was too fast and he paid for it again.

I tried to pay him back but he kept pushing it away then I tried to put it in his bag but he reacted really quickly and he 'protected' his bag.

After that when we are at the escalator, I struggle to give him the $12 and he accidentally caught it.

Then he tried to give it back to me but failed because when I was at my block downstairs I ran into the lift.

However, he caught up and went in with me.

He grabbed my hand and tried to put it in my hand but I ran out of the lift and said "bye bye" then walk away.

I know he don't dare to escort me all the way until outside my door.

Anyway, today can say is a unlucky day because I nearly lost my wallet.

That's about it.

-I am so lost in my own thoughts. I no longer clearly know what is right and wrong. I couldn't sort out my feelings. Recently I have been feeling really down and all I could feel was the feeling of crying out loud. Why did this happen..? This problem started since 25/12/08....

picture

2009-03-30T22:44:00.003+08:00

Yum! 3 scoops!

Belgian Chocolate - I don't really like it.

Mango & Passion Fruit - Never been so mouth watering

Cookies & Cream - I don't have to say anything else, if not it won't be my favourite ice cream.

2 posts..

2009-03-30T22:28:00.002+08:00

I forgotten to blog about yesterday's trip.

I went to watch Race To Witch Mountain and it was not bad but still not as good.

After that went to eat Hagen Daz and I took picture of the ice cream I ate, as usual pictures will be in the next post.

Today was a very boring day, worse part is so many people around me is falling sick.

As for me, I had headache from yesterday until now and it still hurts.

Anyway, I laughed a lot during band today.

Though I am still disappointed in myself for not playing the piece 'Overture No.1' perfectly but I will not give up.

Tomorrow is the SYF day already, wish me luck.

A message to someone..

2009-03-29T00:18:00.002+08:00

This is a message to you, someone who no longer cares, someone who doesn't cherish me, someone so not worth yet.. *sigh* I know you will not see this message because you never read my blog after we broke up. Even if you did, you will not do a thing, neither pity me, apologise sincerely nor sincerely really want to be my friend. It's been 3 months since and I still couldn't forget you. I know I meant nothing to you but you always meant something to me. I choose not to be your friend anymore because I couldn't stand the way you treat me. I don't want us just to be virtual friends and when I see you every Saturday, it's like I never existed. Why did this even happen? Before we were together and only friends, you played, joked and always very interested to talk to me. After broke up, I seemed like a tiny grain of sand under your sole. Not even worth to look at. I really want to be your friend but I don't think you want to be mine. You are the one who initiated, wanting to be my friend even after breaking up. Currently, it just seemed that you don't even care if I'm your friend or not. I asked if can I remove you from msn and all you could say was "remove lor". Though you will not feel a thing, to me, it's millions of knife stabbing in and out, piercing through my heart. You have no idea what kind of suffering I am going through because you never really loved someone deeply and get hurt badly before. You said you love me more than any of your ex, is it really true? Your previous serious relationship lasted for almost a year and you still say you love me more than her. If it's that so, why you give up so easily. I cannot understand why people like you actually existed. No, I cannot understand why people like me existed.

I think you made me realise that I am actually so not worth existing in this world, always having people wanting me to just disappear forever. It just made me realised that I am very unwanted. Not wanted by you nor classmates..

只在乎成经拥有，不在乎天长地久。我不在乎天长地久也不在乎成经拥有，但我就是无法忘记你。我并不讨厌你，我讨厌我自己。不，我很恨自己。无知的自己，还得我自己痛苦死了。你让我觉得我根本不属于这个世界，我的存在只让人觉得我是一个负担。没有了我世界多美啊！

Maybe I should just disappear..

Tired..

2009-03-28T23:13:00.002+08:00

Today, I oversleep and was late for band.

Band starts at 8am and I woke up at 9am, reached there before 10am.

I cried really badly yesterday, from before band till after reaching home.

Which is like for a few hours of non-stop crying, until I got a serious headache.

Anyway, today my eyes were swollen and puffy.

I couldn't open my eyes wide and for the whole day I keep feeling like I want to cry.

I didn't go out today, I stayed at home and practice my drum.

I practice until I nearly cry because remembering Naz's words "I expected you to play something out of the ordinary. You should have been able to play this 1 month ago and I should have locked you up in the storeroom like now but I keep giving you chance. I though you can do it but you just disappoints me.."

I improved a little but still not as good as how people expect me to play.

I will work hard and prove that I can do it.

I will need to hurry on my art too, even Lenise is almost done with all her sketches.

I am so stressed up recently and I got all tensed up like almost every second that's passing by.

Also, every minute I feel like crying.

Why is my life so different from people, I am so messed up.

Such a lousy person with sucky attitude and character.

*sigh*

What will the world become if I never existed?

I believe it will be a better place for people around me to live in.

Oh right, it will not even change because I am already invisible..

Pictures of food test.

2009-03-28T14:38:00.003+08:00

These are the pictures of the Biology food test experiments me and Shi Ting did yesterday.

Random-ness...

2009-03-27T20:29:00.005+08:00

Look at yourself, there is only one word to describe you - pathetic. You can't even play a piece of music properly, how stupid can you get. So useless and imperfect! No wonder people always left you out, leaving you behind. There is just nothing special about you that makes people want or volunteer to even be your friend. You are such an average person that everyone sees on the street. No, you are worse. You can't even make people around you feel your existence. You are so transparent to them, all of them. Even if one day you disappear all of a sudden from school, people will not question about it.

So what if you are top, number one, in class?! It doesn't make you look smart at all, because the results that you got aren't good at all. Why can't you do better?! Why can't you impress people more with what you can do?!

CRYSTAL YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FOR NOTHING!

CRYSTAL YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!

Friday 27th, more like Friday 13th

2009-03-27T20:11:00.004+08:00

Today, the first half of the day was very ordinary, boring as usual.

I even nearly fall asleep during class.

Only Biology class was fun because we did food test.

I will post the food test pictures tomorrow..

Anyway what disturbed me was during band.

After having 'the talk' from Nazri, I feel very guilty for dragging the whole band down.

He said things like he gave me such important role in Overture No.1 is because he expect me to play very well.

He also said "I really thought you can play well but it seemed to me that you are not practicing enough. I really feel very disappointed in you."

Truth is that piece is too hard for me and I need more time which I am running out of, SYF is next Tuesday and I am still not ready.

Words that he said kept ringing in my head, I suddenly got all tensed up and I started to get worried.

When it was band combine I was playing Dancing In Air, I didn't have any worries because that piece is a little easier.

When it was time for Overture No.1, I panicked and I broke down.

I started crying and couldn't stop.

I am so stressed out already, I have homework that never seemed to decrease even after completing it.

I still need a lot of time to do my art, it already eat away some of my sleeping time that is why I do not have enough sleep every night.

How would I even have the time to bring home my score, drum pad and drum stick to practice.

Why is everyone expecting so much from me?

Does everyone wants me to not sleep every night then they are satisfied?

I really can't take this anymore.

1 Part I forgotten about yesterday.

2009-03-27T20:07:00.003+08:00

I forgotten about a quite important part about yesterday.

While I was walking home, I saw this beautiful sunset from my house.

It was beautiful, it was twilight.

I hope that scene could last but I know it's impossible so I took a picture of it.

Pictures for yesterday's post

2009-03-27T19:49:00.004+08:00

These are the recent pictures I drew and completed.

Odinary happy day.

2009-03-26T14:43:00.002+08:00

Today is another ordinary day.

Did nothing much, though I slept at 11:30pm yesterday but I still feel tired in the morning.

I was nearly late for school today because bus 63 came late.

I continued a little of my art and pictures will be posted in the next post.

It is so hot today that even when it rains, the wind felt warm and not cooling at all.

I had fun during art lesson today because I kept singing, joking and playing to keep my mind alert before I fall asleep.

I know 1 thing for sure now, I need to go on a diet.

I gained 5kg!

OMG!

Time for diet, I have to stop eating so much already.

I will try not to eat in school during recess already.

Anyway, I will complete my story 'Vampire Rose - Chapter 7' by today and then do my art.

I have to complete 30 sketches by Monday but problem is I don't really have the time and I have less than 20 sketches.

Drawing so many pictures within a few days time is impossible.

Plus, I have band and dance tomorrow.

I hope I can finish it on time..

-Trying as hard as I can to be more tolerant.

Tired..

2009-03-24T16:21:00.003+08:00

I am always feeling tired recently.

Anyway I didn't do much yesterday, did homework and watched television.

That's all I did the whole day and I still slept at 2am.

I got to learn how to sleep early!

Today in school was as usual, always feeling left out and unwanted.

I nearly fall asleep between maths and English lesson.

Then after school went to BBT with Xue Qi, Jerolyn and Staphanie.

Xue Qi so chek ak!

She took my photo then don't wanna delete until Jerolyn help me delete it off.

I also not pretty nor cute, I so ugly!

Face full of pimples and facial features also not very standout, take my photo will only spoil your phone.

Also I bought this month's Teenage Magazine, Shi Ting asked me to buy it for some..

*Ahem*

reasons..

Anyway, I am going to chiong art.

I said that yesterday during class but I didn't do it.

This time I am keeping my word.

Well, I'm off to do my art.

-Not only tired physically but mentally and emotionally too. So sick of always being left out..

Random-ness...

2009-03-23T00:50:00.002+08:00

Sometimes in life you just don't get what you want. People pushing all the blame on you, acusing you and critisizing. Treating you differently, like you are invisible. All you could do was to tolerate, keeping it quiet. Storing all the problems only to yourself. You could never make things go your way or perhaps the right way.

When things go wrong and people acuses you, all you could thought of is reasons to make it really your fault. You will keep telling yourself that you regret this and that. Then you will sure that that matter really concerns deeply with you and you are fully responsible for it. After that, you just pretended that as though nothing happened.

Always making and thinking of jokes just to make people laugh but not yourself. Even when you do, it wasn't happiness from your heart. You had forgotten what you really love, like and enjoy. That is why you can no longer find that real happiness in yourself. Happiness is that thing you wanted the most. However it just seemed that the gap between you and happiness is getting bigger and bigger. Even though you know clearly that there are a few people out there supporting you but the people that you see almost everyday brings you down. As usual, you burry your emotions and smiled. Always keeping quiet.

-Silent Is Golden..

This is how I feel..

And it's happening..

Last Day Of Holiday

2009-03-22T22:14:00.004+08:00

Went out today, watched movie at Grand Cathay.

I watched Coming Soon with Ming Chuan.

Before that I went to have my lunch with him at Ajisan.

He paid the bill again and I pushed a $16 in his hand and he keep doing tricks to try to give it back to me.

The movie was not that bad, after that we went to bugis to buy a new watch.

I didn't like it because I am not suitable to wear a black watch.

Anyway I had fun today.

I don't know why recently I won't write in details I will just write straight forward.

Anyway, I had something I want to say but I don't think I have found the right person to tell.

So for the time being it's just going to be kept secret in my heart.

-Currently waiting for Twilight SAGA guidebook to be imported to Singapore and Trying to manage time.

Saturday night (movie)

2009-03-22T03:00:00.003+08:00

Today, as usual.

I went out during afternoon with Ming Chuan.

I went to parkway to get my Twilight DVD then went for KFC.

After that went for dance and then went for steamboat and BBQ dinner with my mother.

After that prepared my things and by the time it was 1am already and I decided to watch Twilight with my mother.

I told her that the movie she won't know what was happening and indeed, I was right.

I had to explain to her in details which I read from the book.

Anyway, in between I did a very stupid thing and the only solution to solve it and make it to it's original form is to wait for 8 months.

Argh!

Me and my stupid thoughts.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to find professional help and make it at least a little better.

It's late, 3am.

Not in the mood to write in details and still I couldn't find the inspiration to do my art or continue the story.

I will try my best though..

The Vampire Dream..

2009-03-21T11:41:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I didn't watch any vampires movies or shows but I had a vampire dream.

I dreamt about my own future at the beginning.

I finished Laselle fashion designing course and I went to USA for further studies.

I have a guardian there, her name is Lynne.

After reaching there, I made a lot of friends.

They organised this welcoming ball party and everyone is supposed to dress in big fluffy gowns that drags on the floor.

The place was beautiful, filled with many crystal objects like vases, lights, sculptures, candle stand, anything logical that can me made or decorated with crystals.

Anyway, I saw this really cute guy and he asked me for a dance.

After that I think I had a love in first sight, I wasn't sure what was going on.

Then this guy pulled me to the balcony located at the second floor of the hall.

He pulled me close to him and bit my neck, that instant I really could feel the pain.

It was like as though thousands of needles poked right through my flesh.

Worse part was I was conscious the whole time, so for that moment I thought I was about to die.

He didn't suck my blood, he just bit me.

My whole body felt week and numb but I am still conscious.

He then sat down, placed me on his lap and whispered into my ears.

"You will be the perfect girlfriend for me."

I wanted to go against it, I don't want to have a boyfriend!

However, after looking at him, his cuteness, I got trance and all I could do was stare into his eyes.

I couldn't believe one thing is I had always wished I have a vampire boyfriend but I don't want it to be this way.

Biting me without my permission is unacceptable!

Since he is so cute I don't mind living with him for eternity.

Haha!

Anyway, at that time I think I was in a spell or something and it's like instantly I fell in love with him right after he bit me.

I quickly hugged him tightly and he gave me a kiss on my lips.

"shhh, rest my dear. Go to sleep. I will not leave you.. because you are mine already.."

The next thing I knew was I was sitting down in a dining room with a very long dining table.

I looked around and I saw my friends and my guardian was being tied to the chair.

I was really worried about them at the moment but they smelt really good, good in a sense that they are food.

I turned around and there he was, I was sitting on his lap and he was hugging me.

I stood up and looked into the mirror.

I realised something, I was wearing a black Gothic Lolita gown and the Lolita shoes I really wanted.

Also, my face was perfect, flawless, and it was pale.

Most important part was I had beautiful curls, the curls I wanted.

Anyway, he asked me to enjoy my meal but I couldn't because they are all my friends.

He suddenly stood up and moved very quickly, he grabbed someone I didn't know, pulled that person's head backwards and bite hard into the person's neck.

It was the most horrible scene I had seen.

It's wasn't like when he bit me but his face turned very fierce-like and scary.

I was in shocked and I fell to the floor.

When I recovered, the first thing I did was ran as quickly as possible to my guardian's side and protect her.

Suddenly the door slammed open and a lot more vampires came into the room.

They first bowed in front of my 'boyfriend' and then came to me and kissed my hand.

They first thing my 'boyfriend' did was to run to my side with the speed of lightning and growl at the other vampires.

I quickly hugged him and asked him "what happened? why are they bowing to you and why did they even kiss my hand?"

He replied "I am the prince, a royal blood. Bowing to me is a respect but kissing my princess's hand is unacceptable."

I am his what?!

Princess?!

OMG!

I want to hurry up and wake up because it this dream was getting scarier and scarier.

The scene of my friends getting 'eaten' by vampires, my kind.

Tears started to drip onto his shoulders and he kissed my cheeks.

Before I could do anything, I blackout..

This story hasn't end yet but I think nobody reads my blog so, I won't bother to write the ending.

There was only one suitable sentence to discribe everything that was happening there.

-It was a bloody and scary but wonderful dream.

Last Day Of Band "Camp"

2009-03-19T22:37:00.009+08:00

Today is finally the last day of band sessions during the 1 week holiday.

I am so tired of it and I had been moody these few days.

Woke up around 7am on Wednesday and Thursday (today).

It's holiday for goodness sake and shouldn't I have my own personal time too?

Anyway, today there is this band exchange thing, I didn't enjoy it.

On my way home, I listened to this song sang by Miley Cyrus - Goodbye.

There is a few sentence that reminds me of him, at the same time it's what I want to tell him.

I remember when we kissed,
I still feel it on my lips.
The time that you danced with me,
With no music playing.
I remember the simple things,
I remember till I cry.
The one thing I wish I’d forget,
The memory I wanna forget is goodbye.

Yes, I want to forget the memory that hurts me the most.

Which is the time when he said goodbye to me...

-我长到那么大，从来没有那么后悔过。在我这生命中，我最后悔的就是认识你不久就和你在一起。弄得我团团转，痛苦死了。我知道我不完美，也不漂亮。可是我知道我也不是烂到那种地步，到你一定要一次又一次的伤害我。虽然那已经是几个月前的事，但你害得我到现在都无法忘记你。我不知道你从我们拥有过的爱情和感情伤害我，得到了什么好处。我知道我应该牢牢的记住；“不在乎天长地久，只在乎成经拥有”。

但我却做不到。。。

因为我太在乎你的一切。。。

2nd Day of holiday

2009-03-18T01:41:00.002+08:00

Today is the 2nd day of the 1 week holiday.

Nothing much, except that the fact that I nearly die.

When I was crossing the road and it was green light, which means the pedestrians can cross the road already.

Suddenly a blue car caught me by attention by the corner of my eyes and I took a few steps backwards.

If not, I'm a goner.

That's about all.

Oh and Pi Li MIT quite nice eh!

Haha!

I know I should be doing my art but Pi Li MIT very nice to watch.

1st SRC in 2009

2009-03-16T01:01:00.002+08:00

Today is the first SRC 2009 and also my first performance, performing dance.

Woke up quite late, 11am, then 1:30pm went out with my father to get my phone back.

After that went to Far East Plaza to buy clothes.

Then go home, prepare and went out again at 6:10pm to SRC.

Due to the traffic jam, because of the IT show, I reached there only at about 7pm.

During my performance I danced wrong 1 part.

After that I dance wrong more for the gold star 1 cha cha.

After that, overall when I was there, all I could feel was very left out.

I am actually trying very hard to fit in but a lot of times is that people doesn't allow me to.

No matter where I am, school or dance class, I will always be left out.

This is how I am supposed to be, a nobody.

I bet even after I go out, work and have a future, I will not be a famous and sucessful fashion designer.

I will be a nobody, because that's what I am and what I predicted I will be in future.

Another Ordinary Day..

2009-03-15T00:27:00.002+08:00

Today, is another ordinary Saturday.

I went for band in the morning until afternoon, then went home prepared my things and went for dance class.

After dance class went to Jerolyn's birthday party.

It wasn't much, in fact it's kinda boring because she only have UNO, no board games.

Though we joked a lot but the fun didn't last and I felt boring again.

Anyway, Jerolyn said that she likes the present I gave her which is a good thing.

I'm done blogging, I'll blog when there is something 'exciting'.

-Currently: Finding time to write Vampire's Rose, Waiting for Midnight Sun and Twilight SAGA official guidebook.

Sent Phone To Service.

2009-03-13T12:24:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I sent my phone for service at Wisma and Ming Chuan accompanied me.

After that went to Far East Plazza to buy clip and earing, end up I bought rings also.

Everything I buy yesterday is roses and nothing but roses.

I saw this ring I really like but it's very expensive, $13.90.

$13.90 for 1 bloody plastic ring is like so not worth it.

He tricked me when I was paying for my rose rubber band.

The first time was "Hey, look! The thing you holding is wet." then of course I will go like "where?" but i was stupid enough not to say 'aiyah never mind la! wet only'.

Then he took the rubber band from hand and nearly paid for it and I walk away to look at earings he then gave it back to me.

After choosing 3 pairs of rose earings because it was written '3 for $5', I went to pay for it and there he goes again.

"Hey, those 2 look like your friend you know?" then I'm like, "where?" then when I didn't notice I actually put all the stuff at the counter and the sales person was already packing them into plastic bags already.

After I realised that I had been tricked again I quickly pushed him away and paid for my things.

*PHEW* That was a close call.

Then we just walked and I saw a lot of necklace and shoe I like but I think I'll just get it another day because I don't want to pay for it.

LOL

After that I went home, did my homework and went to bed.

This morning I woke up late for school and since it's the last day of school I decided not to go.

I don't know what have I missed and it might be important but what's done can't be undone.

Now, I finished blogging and going to go do my art.

Then after that around 7 pm I'm going for my dance lesson.

-Chiong-ing Art, Trying to find time to complete my story, Waiting for Midnight Sun and Twilight SAGA guidebook.

Fun day.

2009-03-11T00:49:00.003+08:00

Today went out with Ming Chuan for lunch.

After that met up with Su yi and her 2 other friends.

Shi Ting was late but we already decide that we want to watch a movie called Let The Right One In and the movie starts at 7:15pm.

So they left the ticket with the ticketing usher and we went in for the movie.

I love that movie because of 2 things.

1) It's a vampire romance story.
2)Ming Chuan keep getting startled and I laughed the whole movie. Even after coming out of the cinema.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun today.

I'm too tired to explain all the details but will explain the next time I blog.

Time to sleep, I'm really tired,

Pictures

2009-03-08T21:49:00.003+08:00

The price of the book.

Cover Page.

Back Cover Page.

My Favorite Page In The Book. It's a pity I don't have a scanner.

Family day.

2009-03-08T21:25:00.002+08:00

Today is family day again, went out with my dad as usual.

We went to Suntec City and went to pepper lunch to have out lunch.

Wow, it rhymes!

Anyway after that I went to Harris to find some books.

After that went to Cotton On to buy shorts.

Then my dad fetch my sister to Plazza Singapura, after that my dad bring me to Taka shopping.

I bought another Twilight Related book, THE COMPLETE ILLUSTRATED MOVIE COMPANION.

I also made a Kinokuniya's membership card.

After that I went home write finish my story and read THE COMPLETE ILLUSTRATED MOVIE COMPANION obviously.

Then after that I edited songs and pictures then updated my phone.

Currently I am talking on the phone and blogging.

Well there you have, my whole day's boring activity.

Anyway I was supposed to do my art but I really currently AM not in the mood to draw.

There is just so much to do that I have no time for art.

Tomorrow is a confirm that I will get scolding from Mr Sulaiman.

As usual pictures will be in the next post.

-Currently still waiting for the Twilight saga companion and Midnight Sun

lasst day of IBMC

2009-03-06T13:59:00.004+08:00

Today is the last day of IBMC week.

The secondary 5 students all went for rock climbing.

Before that, we had this Social etiquette talk that was planned by the school.

It was talking about how people should present themselves when they go for a job interview or even to interview for applying to some of the poly courses.

After that, we then went for rock cimbing.

Overall I had fun, though my hands still feel wobbly but I believe that it will pass soon.

I learnt some things today and most of all I had fun.

Now, I am back home and ready to write the next chapter of Vampire's Rose..

*TEEHEE*

NOTE: The story's link can be found at the exits section in my blog.

Inspired.

2009-03-05T08:38:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I read Ka Khay's blog and I am so inspired to write my own vampire romance story.

I will not write the storyline here, you will have to read it yourself.

http://vampirelivingforever.blogspot.com/

The link also can be found under my Exits, Vampire's Rose..

Hope you guys will read it and comment it in my tag box so I will know if it is boring or not.

Once I'm inspired and I have ideas for the story, I then will continue.

If not the chapter sometimes might be half-written

I have two days MC and I have decided that today I want to make my ez-link card because I need to use it to go to school tomorrow.

-Inspired to write a vampire romance story, Waiting for Midnight Sun and Twilight SAGA Official Guidebook

3rd day of IBMC week

2009-03-04T12:24:00.002+08:00

Actually I'm supposed to go to school today.

I woke up at about 4am feeling like a want to vomit.

After reaching the toilet, I vomited whatever I have eaten yesterday with Bryan.

Anyway after that I rinse my mouth and went back to bed.

I then woke up at about 10am, then I keep having diarrhoea.

Went to the toilet 4 times already, then after that I went to the clinic to see a doctor.

Went to buy lunch and ate my medicine.

After that now here I am blogging about how my morning turned out to be.

I might go out later to make my ez-link card, IF I'm feeling much better.

For now I'm just as sick as ever..

Pictures

2009-03-03T23:12:00.004+08:00

This is the necklace that costs me $70 but it's worth it.

Oh and just now I took the train home, nearly fall asleep.

I am still using adult ez-link so end up now my card from $11 become $1 within 2 days.

Tomorrow I AM going to make my card right after school.

2nd Day of IBMC week

2009-03-03T19:57:00.002+08:00

Today, woke up late and I took a cab to school.

I don't know if I got detention or not but what the heck.

Actually I intended to go Ajisan with my classmates but since they didn't ask me, I won't be so thick face and go.

Anyway I also promised Bryan yesterday that I come to his house.

He also can drive me to Hougang bus interchange so that I can make new ez-link card but I did something stupid.

I forgotten to bring my IC with me, I only brought along with me my photo.

So end up the making of my ez-link card, once again got delayed.

For Bryan's birthday present, I bought it yesterday and it costs me $70.

Pictures as usual will be in the next post.

After that I watched show with him then we went to play basketball.

I didn't intend to actually play but only shoot some balls but end up I played.

After playing now I am resting and the same time blogging to write about how my day is.

It's kind of stupid actually.

I think I want to play again but next time I am going to bring shirt to at least change after I play finish.

-Still waiting for Midnight Sun and Twilight SAGA Official Guidebook

NE Trip.

2009-03-02T15:21:00.002+08:00

This week is IBMC week.

I rather study like every other day than to organise some stupid lame game or outting for the Sec 2s.

My class and 4F is incharge of Fort Canning.

I was stationed at the Archeological Dig with Xue Qi at first but because there are some last minute changes made by Miss Ong then Jerolyn join us also.

The sun is blazing hot but luckily we are under a shelter with 2 fans.

Guess what..?

I became the mosquito bait.

Jerolyn never even got 1 bite, Xue Qi got a few and I got the most.

I didn't have fun because just standing there and wait for people is just plain boring.

Later going to go out to make new ez-link card and buy Bryan's present.

I think I'll also buy for Jerolyn a little something.

I know it's a little unfair because I didn't buy present for others but because I missed it and I didn't know their birthday until it had past 1 week already.

Anyway, I am broke because I spent too much nowadays buying things especially food.

OMG I HAD GROWN FATTER!

Got to go on a diet soon right after SYF because that's the period of time I don't need so much energy because I have enough sleep.

I'll end here~

-Waiting for Midnight Sun and the Twilight Saga Official Guidebook.

Tired Saturday

2009-03-01T00:40:00.002+08:00

Today is a very tired day indeed.

I woke up 7am as usual because there is band today.

I fell asleep during combine because I am too tired already.

Anyway, after that I went home to prepare then went out with Ming Chuan.

I met him at about 4pm, I know it's a little late because I have to like leave at around 4:45pm because I have dance class at 5pm.

I bought Famous Amous for my family, didn't eat it for a very long time already.

Anyway, today was raining heavily and I forgotten to take my shoe bag when I left house so I went back to get it.

He accompanied me as usual, I think I gotten used to him accompanying me going home or something.

Anyway after that while we were walking, sharing umbrella, I feel very embarrassed.

By the way he was the one holding onto the umbrella.

We were talking and I was saying things like "WAH! Very pro hor? See my shirt! It's wet!"

He was standing at my right and he placed his left hand on my left arm and pulled me closer to him.

My heart raced 1 beat after another, the rate kept increasing, I have no idea why this happened.

Anyway, my shoe flooded and my legs were wet.

The worst part is when we were crossing the road, one cab was driving so fast that the water splashed the both of us.

The only thing we could do is laugh.

After that because I am late and taking bus isn't going to help so I took a cab to the dance studio.

After reaching the dance studio, I said goodbye to him.

It seems painful to just see him go like this but I have no choice because I have class.

I think our friendship took another big step closer, I think I have a little crush on him but this is very risky.

I am putting my 6 years friendship on risk if I really one day confess to him and he doesn't feel the way I feel for him OR like he said, he doesn't want to have a girlfriend because he know he is not prepared to have one and he doesn't want to hurt the girl.

I am really satisfied I have a friend like him, always cracking jokes, always thinking of others before self, always snatching with me to pay for stuff I bought.

I always have fun going out with him but some times I really am too tired to crack any jokes.

Anyway, today I also realised something.

I not only am invisible in school but also at the dance studio.

It wasn't like this before, I think the main cause of this change is because after he broke up with me he avoids me.

The attention always goes to him rather than to me, obvious.

So currently, I am a nobody, an invisible person, a small fry to so many people.

It just seemed that with or without me as a friend just doesn't seems to make any difference.

Just one less shadow that's all.

I really should learn to get used to always being unoticable, invisible and unwanted.

This way, I will not even complain or say even anything about this matter.

Then people can just go on with their lives with or without me.

Because I am invisible.

Whole week's post. DAMN I HATE PEOPLE AROUND ME!

2009-02-27T19:23:00.003+08:00

DAMN I HATE PEOPLE AROUND ME!

So many bad things happened to me today!

I bought a rose rubber band on last Saturday and guess what.

I now then know, because someone finally tell me, that the rose on my hair looks funny.

I bloody humilated myself for the bloody fucking whole week and no one told me the bloody fucking truth.

THE BLOODY WORSE PART IS I DID ASK AROUND IF THE ROSE IS NICE OR NOT AND ALL SAID "YA NICE~!" OR "HEY YOUR RUBBER BAND VERY NICE"

FUCK LA!

LOOK FUNNY OR WHAT JUST TELL ME!

DON'T IN FRONT OF ME PRAISE IT LIKE AS THOUGH IT'S THE FACT THEN BEHIND MY BACK KEEP GOSSIPING HOW BAD IT LOOKED.

AT LEAST IN 1 OF THE WHOLE LOT TOLD ME THE TRUTH BUT ISN'T IT A LITTLE TOO LATE AFTER LIKE 1 BLOODY FULL WEEK HAS ALREADY, IN FACT, PASSED?!

Truthfully speaking, I don't blame them.

I blame myself, for actually being so nieve to believe that they are actually being nice from deep down.

I have opened my eyes wide but not wide enough to see.

How I wish I can last being alone, being able to accept the fact that I actually AM invisible to that whole lot of people.

I really should have gotten used to being alone but I'm just too stupid to do that and instead, in the end always making myself the one who suffers.

The "best" news today is, I lost my Ez-Link card.

Hoorah, I lost my ez-Link card.

No one have any idea how much I despise myself.

I hate myself so much till the core that it makes me feels sick from deep down.

I hate myself so much until I always push all the blame on myself and making myself suffer in the end. After suffering, I complain.

I hate myself so much that I try to care more for how people feel more than I care for myself. (Just that people doesn't know or they doesn't care at all)

I hate myself for everything I try to do for others and always ending up in trouble myself.

I hate myself for always loosing my temper when I reached the brink of my limits.

I hate myself for not keeping everything to myself so that I can just one day die of depression.

I hate myself for every actions and words that I used just to try to make people smile and not myself.

I hate myself for not keeping my mouth shut forever because I am such a chatter-box.

I hate myself for the things I do and end up getting taken for grunted and/or unappreciated.

Well, this IS my life.

Always transparent, always alone, always blaming myself for things.

I believe that most of the bad things that happened to me actually is the cause of me.

It's all my fault.

Even if it isn't, some how in some ways, it still is.

That's why I despise myself so much.

Pictures

2009-02-21T11:57:00.008+08:00

My new wallet, bought on Thursday.

The comb and mirror I bought from Boon Lay, Jurong Point.

The 7 sketches I that had to be done by Thursday.

This is done on Thursday and Friday. (My Favourite)

Time passes really fast.

2009-02-21T11:16:00.002+08:00

WOW~

A blink of an eye, another week has passed.

24 hours right now for me is too little and I am always so tired because there is always so much to do but so little time which leads to eating up a few hours of my sleeping time.

Wednesday presented the SS project to 4E; "PHEW!" I'm glad that's over.

After school, I went for band again then after going to band I went home to do my art.

It seems like my life is - Band, Art, Eat, Sleep, Study and nothing else.

I hardly have any of my own leisure time!

Though I don't really have time for my own things but I am very satisfied with what I have now, like being very busy and have friends like Bryan, Ming Chuan, Mi Mi, Ka Khay, Ai Ling and Alicer.

I know a lot of people don't like me and they are gossiping about me behind my back.

Last time if people do that it DOES affect me but now, it doesn't do much harm because I thought through a lot of things.

Learnt a lot of 人生大道理, understanding and handling situations.

Anyway Thursday I went out with Ming Chuan, I was supposed to go out with him alone but end up Mi Mi join in but I guess it doesn't really matter much.

Only since they are talking, joking and having fun, all I did was stand behind the both of them and listen to what they are talking about.

Oh, that day I bought a new wallet.

I forgotten to post about me buying new mirror and comb, it's quite long ago actually.

That bloody comb and mirror cost me $9!

T.T

On Friday, I woke up at 7:30am which means I'm late.

I asked my step dad to fetch me but he doesn't want to and I really don't want to spend my time in detention copying lines like "I will not be late again".

I rather do my homework or go to band in that case.

(I want someone to fetch me because 1 of the school rule is that if you are sent to school by your parent, you won't need to go detention)

So, I called Bryan and asked him if he could fetch me to school or not.

If he can't I really have no choice but to go to school and get detention.

I am really lucky to have a friend like him and I really appreciate him for waking up early in the morning to fetch me to school.

I remember when I talked to him on the phone, I nearly cried out.

He agreed and he reach about 8:05am.

I thanked him a lot because I really very appreciate him for doing that for me and I also did say sorry to him because it's not even his problem at all but he agreed to fetch me.

Plus he didn't have a good night's sleep the night before, I felt remorse and appreciative at that very moment.

Anyway, Friday was short and I also went for chinese remedial which ends at 1pm.

I am just too tired already and I really need to sleep, instead of going to band, I went home.

Though I am tired, I didn't sleep.

I did my art and I keep dosing off so I did a little cleaning in my room to make myself energetic again and I continued work.

As usual 8pm-10pm I have dance class, after returning home I did my art again.

I only sleep after I finally complete 1 more drawing.

-As usual pictures will be posted in next post

So much homework so little time.

2009-02-17T23:17:00.002+08:00

Today is a nightmare! Well more like daymare.

I have like tons of homework to be done and social studies project is due tommrrow.

I done most of it, completed 2 chinese composition and 1 english composition (all given today and must be done by tomorrow).

Social studies project left one-quater undone which is the essay, I have no idea how am I suppose to write that.

Anyway, today I just sat in front of my computer and did my homework all the way.

I am so tired just doing that and I'm going to bed now.

Also I already have 105 Twilight pictures.

MUAHAHAHA! I'm so happy.

The next thing I am going to do is re-read Twilight then grab all the nice romantic phrases and learn difficult words by always checking the dictionary for the meaning.

I really am very happy~!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

2009-02-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

It's so cute, the back of the ear phones looked like buttons.

It comes with a pouch to put the ear phones in.

Had pizza with Bryan for lunch, this pizza is mine. (We ordered 2)

Dinner at Kobayashi, I ordered Unatamadon.

It's quite nice.

Sunday, Monday..

2009-02-16T22:21:00.004+08:00

Sunday, went out with my dad as usual.

Few weeks back my sister's iTouch got stolen so she went back to apple to back 1 more MP4 and she wants my earpiece so I bought new ear phones.

They look cute on the appearance but I don't know do they look cute on me, matching my ugly face.

=(

Anyway, after that we watched Pink Panther 2, it's not as nice as Pink Panther 1 one but still I don't like it.

Today, after school went home to prepare myself then went to Bryan's house.

I brought my art along, we had pizza for lunch which is his treat but for dinner we went to Kobayashi to eat and it's my treat.

Well, since he have been treating me to places like White Dog Cafe, Sakae Sushi even pizzas too, it's just time to treat him back.

Anyway he praised my art and he did say I look happier already, I kept smiling.

Wow, I thought I only am happy in the outside I didn't realise I am smiling a lot.

Truthfully speaking, I haven't forget that someone yet but I know I AM moving on and I did make a big move out of it.

However, I do think that when this feeling for that someone is fading, I start to develop a small crush on another person too.

I won't tell who but I guessed many people aren't blind to know who is that person I am talking about.

Anyway, I am tired so I'm turning in for the night soon.

As usual pictures will be posted in the next post.

-Currently not reading any books, done with Breaking Dawn yesterday night

2009-02-15T00:32:00.002+08:00

My new colour pencils.

Ahem!

The price...

The present recieved from him~!

They look really expensive to be eaten..

Oh well~

It's ALL mine.

Whole Week's posts : Saturday is Valentines Day

2009-02-15T00:19:00.003+08:00

The whole week kind of is the same old same old things.

Tuesday, after remedial went home then did my things.

Wednesday, after band went to Changi Airport with Ming Chuan to buy my Breaking Dawn and at the same time I helped Ka Khay buy Eclipse and Breaking Dawn too.

Thursday, I went out with Ka Khay, Ai Ling, Alicer and Vivian to Bugis because I need to get a good quality colour pencil for my O'level art.

Friday, I have band then after band went for dance.

Saturday, I have band again then have dance.

He met up with me and gave me this wonderful present, it looks big and my guess is chocolate.

I thought it's going to be some cheap big box of chocolate but once I opened it, there are 3 boxes inside.

I don't know well how much it cost but I know that doesn't matter, it's the heart that counts.

=)

Anyway, today's class was great.

I pretend he is someone else, like a very normal friend, and it worked very well.

Got through the estimated 1 hour 10 minutes smoothly.

Pictures of the chocolate will be posted in the next post.

-Currently reading Breaking Dawn chapter 38 (there are 19 chapters by the way) and waiting for Midnight Sun.